Gilmore Girls
Haunted Leg

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Bully For You

Luke's. Lorelai now has a cold, so I guess some time has passed. She's ordering soup for breakfast as Rory gives her another Kleenex. Lorelai complains that having a cold is so lame; anybody could have a cold. She wants something unique and interesting, like a Haunted Leg. Rory says there's a reason you only take one package of Theraflu at a time. Luke shows up with their breakfast. Rory has pancakes, a fried egg, and a side of bacon. Lorelai has a bowl of chicken noodle soup with a side of mashed potatoes. Luke asks how the cold's going. "It's fine," Lorelai says, her nose full of snot. Luke asks again. "It's fine," Lorelai says again. Luke points out that this is the third day in a row that Lorelai has ordered soup for breakfast. Lorelai thanks him for the tally. "You know what helps get rid of a cold?" Luke asks. "Endless vague questioning first thing in the morning?" Lorelai tries. "A healthy immune system," Luke answers. Lorelai says that was her second guess. "You know how you get a healthy immune system?" Luke asks. Lorelai asks if he remembers when he hated her: "That was fun, wasn't it?" Luke asks if it's eating crap all day and "blowing out your brain cells with coffee." "No," Rory says as she digs into her pancakes. Lorelai scolds Rory for being on Luke's side. Rory says she just thought "no" was the right answer. Luke tells Lorelai to eat a vegetable every now and then or some high-fiber cereal in the morning. Lorelai complains that her soup is getting cold. Luke tells her at least to eat the carrots in the soup this morning, and not just the noodles. Lorelai promises. Luke leaves, and Lorelai tells Rory to eat her carrots. "Apparently maturity is extremely overrated in your universe," Rory says.

Jess's faceless skank walks in and drapes herself over a stool. "Hey," she says. "Hey," Jess replies. Cue the fakest, most forced tongue-kiss in the world. Rory stares. "So?" Skank asks. "One sec," Jess answers. You know, I shouldn't call her Skank yet. She might be a nice girl. Maybe he's the one that makes her tongue-down in public. I'll call her MaybeSkank. Does that have a nice ring to it? What about ProbaWhore. Oh, I like that. ProbaWhore. Here we go. "Jess," ProbaWhore pouts. "Relax," Jess scolds. "I'm out," he says to Luke. He shoots a look at Rory, who looks away as he says, "Let's go." "Okay," says ProbaWhore, her bangs covering what tiny bit of her face we almost got to see. "Ladies and gentlemen, an entire conversation in ten words or less," Lorelai says. Rory says that they're perfect for each other. CuteDean cautiously walks over to the table and asks them to not get mad that he's already eaten breakfast. "See? Nice, full sentences," Rory says to Lorelai. "What?" CuteDean asks. "Don't ruin it," Lorelai smiles. Strummy-strummy-la-la music out.

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Gilmore Girls

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