Okay, I normally don't do this, but I have to mention the unbelievably ludicrous CW breaks they're giving us tonight between scenes. This stuff with Mark McGrath is worse than all the aerie girls and Chad Michael Murray combined. The first segment is about celebrities "giving back," and it features various famous people doing good works, including a clip of Angelina Jolie talking about refugees and human rights. Straight from a shot of a tiny baby in some godforsaken hellhole, complete with flies on his face, we cut back to Chompers McGrath, who quips "ah, yes, talk about the sweet side of celebrity!" Huh? I... guess he's talking about celebrities being sweet? Or something? But...right after the baby with flies? With the poppy background track and star graphics? For shame, CW.
Logan is in trouble at Rory's apartment. Apparently, he has done the unthinkable and consumed the last of Paris's 2% milk. "It's cool," Paris says sarcastically. "I'll skip breakfast and suffer the afternoon mood swings." Oh, Paris, we'll all suffer. Logan's apologetic but confused -- he saw at least four cartons of milk in the fridge, but Paris explains that each carton is there for a reason: "I need the 2% for my cereal; whole milk for my tea; half-and-half for my coffee; skim milk for cooking or baking; plus, I like to keep Lactaid on hand for Doyle." Having remained silent to this point, Doyle is forced to speak out. He is not, he insists, lactose-intolerant. "You're lactose-resistant," Paris says. "You have a bias against lactose!" There's nothing wrong with being sensitive, she says to his protests. "Jake Gyllenhaal is sensitive! Orlando Bloom is sensitive." While Logan promises to replace the 2% and keep his hands off the Lactaid, Rory emerges from her bedroom in her suit. "Me and lactose are bros!" Doyle says in greeting, and Paris follows up by assuring everyone that she would not kick Jake Gyllenhaal out of bed. Rory takes this all in stride, of course, especially when Logan compliments her on her suit. Had enough with the suit, people! I mean, yes, she looks quite good in it -- but Alexis Bledel would look smart in a suit made of towels, so let's calm down about her damn suit, especially considering that the wardrobe budget spent on her and Lauren Graham every week is off the charts of ridiculous.
She hopes, she says, that her suit is smart enough to do all the talking in her interview today, because she's so nervous that she keeps thinking of questions they might ask, and her mind continually goes blank. "It's like 'Rory, what journalists do you admire?' Ah, hmm, what journalists do I admire? And...nothing. It's a blank. It's like a snowstorm in here! It's all white and empty." Logan and Doyle assure her she's going to do great. "Or," Paris adds, "you'll choke." They all look at Paris in horror, but she "explains" that she was just saying, you know, that Rory might panic and freak out and choke. It could happen. "Just don't panic," Paris says, "if you panic." Rory: "Ah. That's so sweet, Paris."