Gilmore Girls
Here Comes The Son

Episode Report Card
Pamie: A | Grade It Now!
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And I Say: It's All Right

As Lorelai walks back into the house Rory storms up and informs her that there is no chill time scheduled for 4 the next day, and the one thing Rory doesn't have time for is Lorelai's jokes. Rory storms away, allowing Lorelai to say out loud, "Later's good."

Bus. It stops and someone walks off doing the tourist stance: head up, arms kind of out, in a wondering, wandering lost mode. Dude. You've got to love closed captioning. We just see Jess get off the bus carrying his duffel, but I get to read the letter Jess must have written to Rory that they decided to cut from the episode. I guess at one point there was a voice-over, and it went a little something like this: "So I was flipping through this copy of...and I realized it was yours. Guess if I ever finish this letter, I should send the book along with it. I'm sorry I left like I did, but I had to. I had to find out if there's someplace else where things are different. Where I'm different. I just want something...different." And then Jess turns the corner and clichéd surfer music cues up and we see Venice beach. Hey-- good call cutting the Jess voice-over, guys. That would have been some serious ultra-cheese.

So Jess walks down Venice Beach, amazed at all the strange locals. "I'll have the alfalfa sprouts and a plate of mashed yeast," Jess orders to himself. Look who hates different now.

"Catch a wave and you're sittin' on top of the world," the song kicks in, and Jess stares at the horizon. The sun is starting to set, and Jess must be pretty stinky in that leather and hoodie get-up. If this is our look into the Jess spinoff world, be prepared to Oedipus Rex yourself. Jess stands on the beach while surfer music continues, and children do cartwheels around him in the sand. The extras must be freezing their asses off as they play in the sand, sunbathe, and walk past Jess, who remains motionless, looking like a total tool. Also: I love how pale and pasty all of those sunbathing extras are. Yep, it's April in Los Angeles, and not one person has been near a beach in nine months. Nice farmer tan, Dude Playing Frisbee. Okay, I'm starting to lower my grade down to a B.

Goodbye, Dawson's Creek. Thanks for giving me the best job I ever had. Without you, we wouldn't be here.

Gilmore house. Lorelai checks mail to strummy-strummy-la-la. Riveting! Lorelai throws the envelope on the ground to read her mail. Litterbug!

Lorelai is on the phone, calling up the Yale financial aid office. It seems that she received a letter informing her that Rory isn't qualified to receive financial aid, since Lorelai recently came into a large sum of money. Lorelai explains that she already gave that money away to her parents because she owed it to them (Man, Chilton's expensive!) and now she doesn't have any of that money. So, how's that inn looking, Lorelai? Weren't you supposed to have bought that, like, yesterday? Anyway, Yale doesn't really care that Lorelai can't afford to send Rory to their school. Maybe it's because Lorelai tells Yale that Rory really wanted to get into Harvard, originally. Welcome to my world, Lor. A world without scholarships. A world that involves monthly student loan payments until the year 2008. Yeah, I still have five years to go. I will be in my thirties when I'm finished paying off the student loans I took out for two years of school. Of a state school. You'd better hope Rory becomes a doctor.

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Gilmore Girls

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