Aw, man. This wedding's just unnecessary at this point. Christopher and Rory are walking through what looks like the Hundred Acre Wood. Christopher informs his daughter that he's having sex with her mother again, and this time he's really going to try not to screw it up and mess up their lives once again. Because this is a well thought-out decision, and right before the wedding is the perfect time to tell Rory. Not together, sober, but alone in a park, separately. Rory asks Christopher whether his intentions are honorable, because she and Lorelai take disappointment extremely hard. Christopher hugs her without making any kind of commitment or promise. His cell phone rings. He says it's probably work. Rory can't believe that Christopher would get work calls on a Sunday. He says he's got a lot of responsibility now. He leaves to take the call.
Rory turns around and cues the strummy music when she sees Jess standing alone and loner-y. My heart begins to race because I realize that I'm almost done recapping this talk-y show for the summer. Rory walks over to Jess. She asks what he's doing there. "Hello to you, too," he says. She asks if everything's okay. He answers by telling her that she looks nice. She asks what he's doing there. "I moved back," he says. "What?" she asks. "I moved back," he says again. At this point, they've said it so many times they're just rubbing it in. I mean, cue the "Jess Is Back All-Star Dance Crew" for Pete's sake. I got it. Rory asks why he moved back. He says he just wanted to. Rory stares at him for a little while, and then flings her entire body into him and kind of falls on his face, kissing him. He doesn't even take his hands out of his pockets until she starts to pull away and then he grabs her face and brings her closer. She pulls away again, and does a total Tristan on the boy, running off and hissing, "Don't say a word!" to him. Jess says he won't. Rory runs away, laughing, "Welcome home!" Jess wins. Hey, where's the shot of CuteDean watching Rory and Jess talk? Man, cheated again. And where's the part where Rory finally decides like the teaser told us? Man! Man! Dammit!