Gilmore Girls
I Can't Get Started

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Speak Now and Forever, Forget the Peace

Cut with breakneck speed to Thursday night. The party. There are so many people in this wedding party, if this is the rehearsal dinner. Kirk is clinking his glass, and Miss Patty announces that Kirk is going to give a toast. The room quiets and Kirk says, "Ladies, gentlemen, honored guests! Who owns the silver Volvo, because you're blocking me in?" Everyone moans. There are complete strangers in this room, but CuteDean's towering over everybody. Miss Patty says that it was better than the toast Kirk made at some other wedding, but they don't give us any more information, so it's hard to share a laugh on that inside joke. Christopher asks how long he should wait before he moves his Volvo. Christopher is kind of an asshole. Lorelai tells him to wait another ten minutes. She's kind of an asshole, too. And she's the only one so dressed up for the party. Kirk pleads with someone to move the car, since his mom's waiting and he's got to go. "This isn't funny!" he shouts as everyone openly laughs at him. Poor Kirk.

Jackson walks quickly over to Sookie and announces that they need to talk. His father has just given him a kilt for him to wear in the ceremony. On the night before the wedding Jackson just realized that his father would want him to dress in a traditional kilt? This never occurred to him before? Also, Sookie can't even enjoy her party because she has to melt chocolate on the stove. She's constantly working. Sookie, realizing what tradition and family means, in addition to not having anything to do with her own wedding, says that if it means a lot to his father, then Jackson should probably wear the kilt. I'm thinking of calling Sookie and telling her that traditionally they should release Muppets at the end of the ceremony, just to watch Elmo catapulted from the gazebo. You know she'd do it if I made it sound like she's a horrible person for saying no. Jackson shouts that Sookie's crazy. He says she won't let him wear shorts in public and now she's going to let him parade around in a skirt on their most important day. Sookie dresses Jackson? Sookie asks what he's going to do. Jackson says he's going to wear pants, and that if his father doesn't like it, he doesn't have to come. Sookie calmly says that Jackson's father has to come since he's the best man. Sorry, Rune. How many conversations are going to happen about things in the future and people who aren't in the room? Because it's really boring. Is this kilt thing even slightly necessary? Sookie runs after Jackson, telling him that shorts are different because they cut him funny. End of pointless scene. Asshole Christopher says, "Okay, that's it. I need some air." Oh, the kilt thing was too much for you, Chris? Why do you keep coming back to Stars Hollow if you hate everyone in it? I realize I'm the recapper calling the deadbeat dad snarky, but come on. Christopher tells Lorelai to grab an entire bottle of wine and follow him. Lorelai gets giddy because he's being so bossy.

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Gilmore Girls

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