Gilmore Girls
I Get A Sidekick Out Of You

Episode Report Card
Al Lowe: A | 2 USERS: A+
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Sidekick In The Pants

The reception winds down, as many do, with crazy, embarrassing behavior on all sides. Kirk, thinking one of his bartenders has flirted with Lulu, fires them all, and makes the bar serve-yourself. "Too yummy!" he says, stomping off. "Way too yummy!" At a nearby table, lovable nerds Kyon and Brian mack down like Bobby Brown. Hooray! Everything's great, until we see Chris trying to be all Grownup Dad to Rory, telling her how much he likes Logan, and how if they decide to get married, he'd totally approve. Gross, Christopher. Shut up. Rory's twenty-one! I know Lane is, too, but whatever. Why would a thirty-seven-year-old man encourage his twenty-one-year-old daughter to get married to some fool with even less direction than he has? Chris asks where Logan is, anyway. Rory tells him he's in Costa Rica. "Oh," she says, when Chris is surprised. "He's gonna jump off something and raft down somewhere, climb up a thing, swing on a vine, something like that."

Rory gets up to give a toast to Lane and Zach just as Lorelai arrives back at the table with a tray of at least twenty-five shots. "I'm a respectable man, Lorelai," Chris says in mock alarm about the alcohol. "An upstanding citizen. I'm a father." Lorelai smiles, pouring some salt on her wrist: "I know. This is how you became one." Chris: "Well, you have me there." They do another shot when Rory makes her way to the microphone. She gives a typical Palladino speech, not overly sweet in the least, and reads a note Lane passed her in school in third grade. When she gets to the end, where Lane signs off with "See you at Brownies," I openly sob. Being a kid is so awesome. I wish I could go to Brownies right now. Maybe I just need some brownies...

Speaking of needing to eat something, Lorelai sure could use some brownies right now, because after knocking back several shots, she decides to give a toast. Chris looks worried, and he is right to do so. It...doesn't go well. Clanging past the drums and banging into the mic, Lorelai begins her downward spiral: "Some of you know me as Lorelai Gilmore, and some of you know me as Cher." She says she's so happy for Lane, so happy that this twenty-two-year-old girl has gotten married, because it's amazing and really hard to get married: "Believe me, I should know. Because, Lane's married, and next thing it'll be my daughter and...then, my granddaughter, but not me. I'm not getting married. No, it ain't for me; it's not in the cards." Everybody is starting to look sad and worried, but Lorelai just goes on and on, asking whether the crowd wants to know WHEN she's not getting married. "June 3rd!" she says. "Do not save the date. Do whatever you want on June 3rd, because there's nothing at all happening on that day." She rambles on and on to the total silence of the crowd, finally congratulating Lane and Zach, and blessedly being rescued by Chris and Rory, who come up and ask whether she wants some coffee. Despite this snag in their night, Zach looks dreamily over at Lane and sighs. "Totally perfect wedding," he says, and she nods, kissing him.

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Gilmore Girls

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