Episode 3:11. As it's one of my least favorite bands of all time, I should have known it wouldn't have been one of my beloved episodes, either. Also, this whole "Great" campaign that the WB's running? It really makes the show sound kind of blah, doesn't it? Dot, dot, dot -- GREAT -- dot, dot, dot. All of those publications, and they can only get the same adjective out of all of them? That's a damn shame.
Previously: Francie is a Heather. Sookie and Lorelai are going to start an inn. Remember? Think back, back, back! Francie and Rory aren't friends.
We start at Emily's Friday-night dinner. The maid answers the door and takes Lorelai's and Rory's coats. In the next room, Emily can be heard yelling on the phone. Lorelai makes a joke to the housekeeper, who doesn't understand humor.
Emily is outraged. It seems that her former housekeeper wants an apology for the way Emily treated her. Emily called her a stompy, clompy mess, it seems. "Oh, I see. Because I want things a certain way, I'm unreasonable," Emily says. Lorelai quietly tries to pour herself a glass of wine as Emily gets even more outraged. Emily demands the document in question to be faxed to her house immediately. She says that tomorrow morning is an unacceptable amount of time to wait for a piece of paper: "It's unacceptable because I'm paying you three hundred dollars an hour." Emily tells her lawyer to turn his car around, go back to his office, and have his wife videotape his daughter's recital tonight. Lorelai quietly asks if she can ask the lawyer to pick up some ice cream as well. Remember that joke, because they'll use it again later.
Emily hangs up on her lawyer, mumbling, "Unbelievable." Rory and Lorelai say hello. A startled Emily asks when they got there. "Somewhere between the second 'absurd' and the third 'unbelievable,'" Lorelai answers. Emily apologizes. Lorelai pesters Emily to spill the story until Emily begs her to stop making her say the word "peeved." She explains that her lawyer was on the phone, informing her that her former housekeeper is suing for wrongful termination. Lorelai makes a tiny, interested noise. Emily remarks that Lorelai could at least seem surprised. "It's not the first time, is it?" Lorelai asks. Emily says that it most certainly is. Lorelai: "Well, then I'm surprised." Emily adds a little more exposition here, letting us know that Richard's in London helping Trix move out of her flat. Looks like Trix really is moving to Hartford. Rory asks which maid is suing her. "Gerta, the one from Hamburg," Emily drolls. This prompts the Hamburger Helper and German jokes a-plenty. "She was the clomper," Emily explains. When Gerta made the beds, it sounded like a "Munich beer hall rally." Lorelai can't believe that Emily fired someone because she made noises when she walked. She asks if Gerta was a good maid except for that one thing. Emily freaks out, y'all, and gives the longest speech ever about how she pays more than anyone else pays for hired help (I don't know how she'd know that), and she demands to get the service she's paying for. That means that if she wants her housekeeper to be quiet, she'd better be quiet, or Emily will pay someone who is quiet instead. If you pay for First Class but they put you in Coach, everyone expects you to complain, you aren't called demanding or unreasonable. But now this woman's calling her unfair. "Well, then so be it," she says. "Let someone else pay for First Class and ride in Steerage. Not me." So much for comedy in this opening teaser, huh? The current housekeeper, Brooke, informs Emily that dinner is ready. Emily makes the girls listen to how quiet this current housekeeper walks. And, um...opening credits. That's okay. I can laugh later. I'll wait. No, it was a good four minutes well spent.