Gilmore Girls
I Solemnly Swear

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Bossy Ladies

Gilmore home. Lorelai has brought home dinner. Rory appears to be flipping through some CDs. Lorelai explains that it was International Grab Bag Night at Al's Pancake World. I guess you just pick a bag and eat what's inside. So much quirk for one episode, huh? Rory grabs a bag and hopes for Moroccan. Apparently that's what she always hopes for, but it never is. Rory takes the food to the kitchen while Lorelai checks the answering machine. I guess Rory never checked it? Moving on. It's Emily's lawyer, and he wants Lorelai to give a deposition on Emily's behalf. Lorelai starts moaning the word "No" over and over again until Emily answers the phone. "No!" Lorelai shouts as a hello. Emily asks who it is. Lorelai says she's not giving a deposition. Emily says Lorelai's just going to let some "lead-footed, Teutonic chambermaid" drag her mother's name through the dirt. Gerta's lawyer knows they asked for this deposition, so Lorelai has to do it now or it'll look bad. Lorelai says this is none of her business, and anyway she doesn't see how they're going to find twelve people in the state of Connecticut who haven't been fired by Emily. Emily says she can't believe her own daughter won't come to her defense. Lorelai says she's not going to lie for her. Emily says that Lorelai just has to say that she treats her maids fairly. "I'm not gonna lie for you," Lorelai says two more times. Emily barks that there is a thing called family loyalty, and that when someone is in trouble you're supposed to help them. She reminds Lorelai that she's helped her out many times over the years, and that the least Lorelai could do is spend thirty minutes saying nice things about her mother. Lorelai sighs, "Fine." "Thank you," Emily says. "Your devotion is touching." Lorelai pouts to Rory that she has to give a deposition. Rory pouts that her food isn't Moroccan. They decide the food is too horrible to eat, and go to Luke's. I envy their disposable income.

Hee. Snowy building establishing shot looks like something out of Saturday Night Live. The Jack in the Box guy drones on and on about hotel stuff. Lorelai is attentively taking notes, but Sookie's bored off her ass. She and Lorelai just start talking right there in the middle of the classroom about how bored Sookie is. He apparently hasn't said a thing that's not common sense yet. Sookie says she's getting hostile and insecure. Lorelai pops her hands up from under the table and says, "Pick a color!" She's got a cootie catcher in her hands. (Back at my school, we called them Fortune Tellers.) Sookie picks pink because she's a girl. Lorelai does that origami finger flop that we girls know in our genes. Sookie picks "Five." Lorelai reads Sookie's fortune: "You will marry Shaun Cassidy and cheat with David." Sookie beams with joy. Now play MASH, girls. The instructor coughs loudly to break up the fun. Lorelai and Sookie apologize. Lorelai explains that they have a cootie catcher. They apologize again. But it's the end of the class, anyway. The class applauds, but the instructor says there's one "treat" left. It's a guy selling real estate, and Lorelai quickly realizes that the entire class was just a scam to get them to purchase overpriced real estate. Lorelai pulls a Kids in the Hall and crushes a head. The girls leave, deeply offended.

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Gilmore Girls

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