Gilmore Girls
I Solemnly Swear

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Pamie: C | Grade It Now!
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Bossy Ladies

Outside the classroom, Lorelai and Sookie try to act as dumb as the instructors treated them. They then decide to eat their tuition price in cookies, but alas! The cookies taste like feet. Lorelai is very upset that this class made her utter the sentence, "My God, I should have listened to Michel." A man walks up behind Sookie and is overjoyed at seeing her. Sookie, at first, appears not to know this man at all, and then suddenly she knows him very well. He's Joe. He and Sookie used to work together. They then begin reminiscing about a million things we've never seen or heard of before. Oh, fun memories. The other guy standing there is Alex. "My partner," Joe says. Alex looks right at Lorelai and adds that he's merely a business partner. I don't watch the show, but apparently Alex recently played a wife-beating baby killer on 24, or something like that. All I know is he looks like a messy, scruffy Tag. And Tag? Already kind of a mess. So this guy? Totally a mess. And also? I hate that name. Tag. Is that really a name? Why did they name a character Tag? Joe has a scary forehead that gives him an evil grin when he's trying to be nice. Most of these stories revolve around some character named Bung, who was the grill man at the place where they worked. None of these stories are actual jokes, by the way. We're just listening to sections of stories we don't know about. If you cut Lauren Graham's hair at mid-neck, you'd have Alex's hair. He's also unable to make a line be funny. I guess that's because he's looking at the ground as he mumbles. Maybe he's nervous. And the guy playing Joe is gay. He demands to see Sookie's hands, which I assume means he's looking for her wedding band, but instead he's just checking to see any new burn scars or blisters. He compliments her blisters. She checks his hands as well. Um, why isn't Sookie wearing her wedding band? Lorelai scolds Alex when he reaches for a cookie.

Sookie tells Joe that she and Lorelai are starting an inn. Joe brags that he and Joe were attending a class on starting a coffee shop. "Chain of coffee shops," Alex corrects. Well, la-dee-dah, mister. One at a time, okay? Alex says that all he knows is ironworks, so he is capable of choosing the security gate. Is he supposed to be Joe Millionaire? I don't get it. Mostly, I don't understand why Lorelai is flirting with him. She's never dated unfunny people before. Lorelai! You're too good for him. Go get CuteDean! Joe says they just need to pick a name for their coffee-shop chain. Lorelai tells them not to pick anything cute. "Like Jitters," Sookie says. "Or Spill the Beans," Lorelai adds. "Or Higher Grounds!" "Or The Mudhouse." Alex immediately says he likes The Mudhouse. Lorelai says she likes it too, and calls dibs.

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Gilmore Girls

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