Independence Inn. Lorelai gives Michel a list of things he needs to do until Michel says this is all written down in a notebook next to his self-help book: Why Don't People Think You Know What the Hell You're Doing?. Lorelai says she's stressed over the deposition. Michel says it's no big deal. He did it once when his neighbor had a dog -- a cute, yippy little thing that would bark all night long, and disappeared. "I told the police what I knew, but sadly, the adorable little chatterbox was never found. It was tragic," Michel says. Lorelai is horrified that Michel got rid of a dog. Michel's deadpan denial is quite hysterical. Michel says he could show her the lie-detector test if she needs proof. Lorelai calls him heinous. He says he's also well rested. Gay Joe shows up here, busting in on Sookie's place of business like a STALKER. Then, for no real reason, Lorelai just points him back to the kitchen, where he could just stab Sookie or steal her or poison her cookies (Dirty!).
Sookie is stirring a big bowl and tells Gay Joe she'll be with him in a minute. She prattles about the menu for a second. Joe follows her around the kitchen, picks up a knife (duck, Sookie! He's got a knife!), and then starts chopping something. Uh, way to wash your hands, e.coli. Then she jams a spoon of something in his mouth before she puts the spoon back into the pot. Joe complains that it doesn't have enough brandy and then tosses the food he just chopped into some pot that's not his in the kitchen where he doesn't work. If he doesn't stop, someone else is going to have to give a deposition soon. Sookie flirts with Joe over food. They talk about how great a time they used to have together. Joe confesses that over the past ten years, he's always missed Sookie and hated the fact that they never got together that one crazy stoner summer. Sookie freaks out and excuses herself, leaving Joe to poison all the guests.
Sookie wants Lorelai to get off the phone immediately and tell her how to run her life. Lorelai is on the phone telling someone else how to run his life, and they throw in a Ramada joke. What's with the hotel snobbery humor? Anyway, the man on the phone wants continental breakfast, and Lorelai's telling him to check the Econo Lodge. She then tells him to talk to his wife and call her back. Lorelai finally hangs up as Sookie mimes people walking, talking, and kissing. Lorelai calls Sookie "Shields and Yarnell." The closed captioning didn't even try to bother with that sentence. Sookie freaks out that Joe thinks they're going on a date. "Is he crazy?" Lorelai asks. "Busting chops is not a date." Sookie explains what just happened. "He's liked you for ten years?" Lorelai coos. "Yes," Sookie giggles. They say that this is a total Great Gatsby moment. Sookie beams at the thought of being somebody's Daisy. They agree that it's very flattering to be somebody's Daisy. Sookie asks if she brought this on, if she was flirting. Lorelai says it's impossible to flirt when you're talking about Bung. Joe just read something into it that wasn't there. Sookie asks what Jackson's going to say. Lorelai says that Jackson will be fine, since this is just a misunderstanding. Sookie asks what she's supposed to tell Joe. After ten years, this is going to be quite a letdown. Sookie decides to tell Joe she's a lesbian. Lorelai suggests she tell him she's married. Sookie: "Right! I'm married. Good. That's very good." Sookie gloats a bit more about being somebody's Daisy until Lorelai tells her to be happy later. "Right," Sookie says. "I'm going in." Lorelai answers the phone. Yep. That's this scene's closer.