Babette and Lorelai are wrestling a big plant out of the CrapShack when Lorelai's cell phone rings. "Holy smoke," says Babette. "I thought that was some sort of alarm on your pants, or somethin'." Lorelai assures her that her pants alarm sounds more like a siren. Apparently, Babette is making a jungle...for her bedroom. Lorelai speaks for all of us: "Enough said!" As Lorelai's house phone now begins to ring, Babette says that she had intended to ask Christopher to help her lug the heavy plant across the yard, but that she hasn't seen him lately. "Well," Lorelai hedges, "his work keeps him busy." Babette says that Chris's work is very mysterious (and very non-existent). "Yeah, he's a man of mystery," Lorelai answers, trying to extricate herself from this conversation, especially when Babette goes on, saying how the real man of mystery is Morey with his new jungle obsession: "After decades in the bedroom, who would have thought that dressing up as a howler monkey would be such a turn-on?" Haaa! Lorelai takes this opportunity to answer her phone, which has not stopped ringing. It's Rory, in a panic, calling to tell Lorelai about Richard. Leaving Babette to yell for Morey, she takes off for the hospital.
Siiiiigh. Rory sits in the hospital waiting room, staring blankly ahead. I don't know how much time you've spent in hospitals, Internet, but nowhere does there exist a more purgatorial emotional vacuum. Rory is in such a state of waiting-roomness, as a matter of fact, that her ringing phone does not even register, and another occupant of the chairs has to point it out to her. It's Lorelai, trying to navigate the hospital corridors by following the painted red line on the floor to the cardiac ICU. I'm going to have a hard time making any jokes here. This is way too much like when my late father experienced his own cardiac aneurysm. My mother and I did all of this: the cell phone thing, the red line on the floor, the cafeteria misery, the quizzing of the doctor, the breakdown in the gift shop. All of it. In fact, I cried throughout this episode, though at times, as you will come upon later in this recap, the crying was out of boredom. Rory gives her mom the update on Richard's condition: he did have an actual heart attack, and is now having an EKG. She has a small meltdown about how everything related to health care is an acronym, and Lorelai hugs her. "Mom," says Rory. "It was awful; he just fell down." Though she might not believe it herself, Lorelai tells Rory that everything's going to be okay.