At Luke's, Lorelai comes out of the shower, alarmed by a killer spider. She has been calling Luke, she says, to come and get the bug, which she's trapped under the soap dish, but he's been on the phone. He goes to get the thing and realizes that the spider has a posse. "There isn't a soap dish in town big enough for these guys," he says, going to get a huge pot. "I just gotta trap them, then move them out of the shower, and then sell the building." He's busy with the spiders, so when he tells Lorelai about April calling and asking him to be a chaperone on her math team trip, he can't see her face fall and look sad and worried. Of course, when he comes out of the bathroom, she encourages him to go: "I know that traveling across country on a bus full of Little Man Tates has been a lifelong dream of yours." In that case, he says, he will go. As a matter of fact, he's already mapped out the route and everything and is excited about seeing the Liberty Bell, which he's never seen. Wake me up when he's not talking about the map anymore. What the hell have these writers done to Luke? He carries the spiders out, Lorelai telling him to try to find someplace shady, "ideally near a talking pig."
Lane and Brian are moving back into the apartment they used to share with Zach. Well, Lane's moving her stuff in while the guys play videogames. "Hey," Brian asks, something suddenly occurring to him about the apartment. "What happens when you guys get married?" Zach snorts: "Well, we finally get to have sex." Lane admonishes him, and tells Brian that they haven't really discussed it yet. They proceed to discuss it in front of him now -- Lane thinks they should probably get their own place eventually. "I tell you," Zach says to Brian, "this marriage thing? Major. Every day, something huge to think about." Speaking of huge, Lane tells him, he still needs to go and talk to her mom about the proposal. He assures her that everything is under control, and she goes off to work. "You've got yourself a good woman there," Brian says. "Yep," Zach says, smug. "I do." Yes, you do, but no one can figure out WHY to save their lives.
Lorelai arrives at the diner to find Luke in the middle of a project. He is, to her disdain, sewing up the rattiest duffle bag this side of 'Nam. She is alarmed that he plans to take this on his trip with April, and offers to take him shopping for some new luggage, instead. He refuses, naturally, and immediately proceeds to stab himself in the hand with the needle. Lorelai: "I can't believe you think shopping is more painful than this!" Lane's there, but rushes outside when she sees Rory walking up on the sidewalk. She grabs her friend in a hug. "I have some really, really big news," Lane says, flashing her ring finger. "What?" Rory asks. "You've...become a Shriner?" We cut away, back to inside the restaurant, where Lorelai is still teasing Luke about his sewing skills. They hear the girls suddenly burst into crazy squeals, and turn to see them jumping up and down. "Rory's here!" Lorelai says, delighted. And she is, indeed -- she and Lane run in and accost Lorelai with the ring. "You..." Lorelai says, "won the Super Bowl?" No, they explain, Lane's engaged. "[The ring] is all Zach could afford right now," she says, "but actually I think it's kind of rock and roll." Lorelai smiles from ear to ear. "It's the rocking and the rollingest," she says. "Congratulations!" Lane says she would have told Lorelai earlier, but she figured Luke had already told her. Lorelai is surprised he would have forgotten to mention it. "Fine, sure I forgot to tell you," he says. "So what? I remember being engaged to you, isn't that enough?" Hilarious joke, Luke, except not all that hilarious since you can't seem to remember anything else about Lorelai lately such as that she's an actual human, with feelings, who you made swear to be 100\% honest with you, and to whom you then turned around and lied. Remember that? I DO.













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