The next day, Rory and Lorelai walk to Luke's, arguing about the stupid FD3. Lorelai's issues with it parallel my own: why would someone trying to escape death, after nearly dying on a plane and on the highway, then choose to go on a crazy roller coaster? And furthermore, if this is Final Destination 3, just how final were the first two destinations? I mean, I haven't seen any of those movies, but these are my questions. Rory says that she has to go and run some errands and will meet up with Lorelai, later. Passing Zach, who is battling a new song in the gazebo, she heads to...duh duh duuuuuuuuuuuuuuhnnn!...freakin' Woodbridge.
Rory finds Anna helping a customer with a t-shirt that reads "Your Boyfriend Wants Me." The anvil-shaped hole in my roof is causing a draft. Rory tries to be casual, looking at an old stewardess bag for sale, when Anna comes over to talk to her. She is very friendly, of course, and when Rory compliments her stock, she says that she tries to carry mostly one-of-a-kind stuff. "I'm really into the whole 'this is mine, you can't have it' scene," she says. "Must be only-child syndrome." Rory nods: "Ah, yes, I know it well." The thing is, as an alert reader pointed out, Anna ain't even supposed to be an only child. There's a brother, right? Who helped April with her DNA science test? Rory looks around as Anna goes back to help the original customer who has tried on an unflattering shirt. "No," she tells the girl, who thinks maybe she'll look at it in the mirror. "Trust me: at this moment, I am your best friend." Rory looks kind of worried: FakeLorelai is nice.
At the Inn, Kirk is engaging in some of his customary ridiculous behavior. Seems he has become a realtor-trainee, and has decided to use the Dragonfly as his office. He's annoying and speaking on a cell-phone headset, talking about himself in the third person. "I just need a temporary place to conduct my business," he tells Lorelai, "and potentially have sex with prospective clients." Lorelai stifles her gag reflex as he explains: "That's Kirk's other thing -- the young, virile, eye-candy angle, for lonely widows and aging divorcees." Lorelai sighs and pushes him out, at which point he drops the bomb: Lorelai's own parents are using his services to look for a place in Stars Hollow. The entire firm is working on it. "This cannot be happening," Lorelai says...
...and when Rory arrives later, jabbering on about a hot dog craving she's having, Lorelai tells her daughter the nightmarish news. "But why?" Rory says, horrified, as if she herself is faced with the villain of Final Destination 3. Lorelai figures that it's because she and Luke are planning to get married and the Grandparents will want to be nearby in case more kids come along. Lorelai is freaking out. She says she moved the thirty miles away from her parents to create a buffer between them: "When my mother says something that makes me want to kill her, I have do drive thirty miles to do it. Ten miles in, I usually calm down, or I get hungry, or I pass a mall! Something prevents me from actually killing her." Lorelai says that the buffer is her mother's best friend: "Take away the buffer, and you got Nancy Grace camping out on Miss Patty's lawn for a month!" "Let me distract you with a present," Rory says, handing Lorelai a bag. Lorelai is excited, and loves the Pan Am stewardess bag...until Rory tells her where she got it. Lauren Graham, once again, gives great face as she listens to Rory tell of her sneak attack on Anna's store. "I told you," Lorelai says, "I didn't want to go there." "Well, you didn't," Rory says, surprised that Lorelai is upset. "I did." She asks what the big deal is that she went, and Lorelai says she promised Luke she'd stay out of it, and that she trusts Luke because you should be able to trust your fiancé. "Oh, right," Rory snarks. "The way he trusted you when he found out about April?" Daaaaamn, Rory. You went there, and it was wrong, but I have to hand it to you for that one. Of course, when you then go on to hound your mom pretty cruelly about the whole Anna thing, asking repeatedly if she isn't curious about how Anna looks, acts, or about her taste in music, you're once again on my hate list. Lorelai's pissed. Really, really pissed. "Rory," she yells, incredulous. "Stop. Drop it. I mean it." Rory goes all petulant. "Fine," she shrugs, like a teenager. "I guess you don't want the purse, then."