Paris doesn't have time to freak on Logan, though, because suddenly, Doyle appears. She swings on him, trying to throw him out, too, but he also refuses. He says he went out, got drunk, thought about all the things she said, and decided she was wrong. Hey, Doyle, probably not the best opening line. "I am not," Paris says, still shrill. "And...what are you wearing?" Ah, yes, Doyle is still wearing Rory's coat from their drunken encounter down in the bar. He brushes that aside, saying that he knows he and Paris are meant to be together: "You know it. I know it. Your life coach knows it." Paris scoffs: "Terrence has been wrong before. When I wanted to get the pageboy haircut? Remember that?" Doyle says he came back to reason with Paris, even though he could have hooked up with a really hot chick that night. With alarm, Rory realizes that he's talking about her. "I don't see how that's going to help your case, Doyle," she says, with significance. "At all." Paris agrees. "A really hot chick?" she laughs, looking again at the coat. "With rhinestone buttons? Who was it, Sheila E.?"
To escape, Rory reluctantly joins Logan in the hall, giving him two minutes to state his case while she slumps by the door. Girlie, it's been said before, but I'll say it again: stand up straight. Simple hump prevention! An even better idea: simple chump prevention, which could be achieved by not actually listening to Logan as he yammers on, repeating the same excuses that, to him, he and Rory were broken up when he slept with all the bridesmaids and, in any case, those shenanigans meant nothing, etc. We've heard it all before, but what I love about it is that Logan really spreads himself doing the old "I thought it would be hard to be your boyfriend/stay faithful to you/live with you, but it wasn't, because I actually felt an emotion and I love you, so now I deserve a medal for it" routine. Yes, congrats for acting like a human being, Logan. He really pushes the point about honestly believing that he and Rory had officially broken up before sleeping with those other girls, and she finally has to acknowledge that, fine, maybe he did, and that, in his mind, he wasn't cheating on her. He's kind of too desperate about it, almost tearing up, and I momentarily feel sorry for Logan when he seriously asks if she wants to make one of her famous pro/con lists about the situation, because he feels it may come out in his favor. Rory considers the whole thing for, well, ONE SECOND, before shrugging and saying that she'll have to go back in and tell Paris she's leaving with Logan. Hello? That's...it? The breakup that lasted a total of one hour? Rory, you should have slept with Doyle when you had the chance. Then you could have been all "Logan, do you really believe in your heart that I thought we were still together thirty minutes after I left the wedding? Because I thought we were broken up! So I loaned Doyle my brocade coat, and he looked so cute in it, I had to bang him. It was meaningless, though. Paris doesn't care, because she forgives me everything. Wanna get back together now?" Seriously. Shut up, BOTH of you.