Lorelai is back from Paris, and her first act on the home turf is to call Rory, begging into Rory's voicemail to get in touch as soon as possible. Yes: when you want to break it to your adult child that you have just married her father, after a quarter century of being jerked around by him like a yo-yo, there is no time like the present. The nervousness in Lorelai's voice is painful and, for the first forty-five minutes of this sort of goofily-named episode, it is like the old Lauren Graham and Lorelai and Rory and Gilmore Girls in general are all back and in fine form. Until...well, we'll get to that. In other news, happy Thanksgiving, American lovers of this program, and many thanks to my Canadian bosses for the holiday amnesty that gave me an extra day to write this recap. One is not at one's prime when full of turkey and JoLowe's cornbread dressing -- truly the finest in the land. If I had written this during my tryptophan haze, it would have been about three paragraphs long and gone something like: "Lorelai calls someone on the phone. Can't see screen...light fading...coconut cake...must zzzzz...Huh? Logan something! Stupid about the appendix. Rory zzzzcute..."
Christopher comes in to stop Lorelai from calling Rory yet again and sits her down on the couch, asking for an open mind. She gives him one. Walking to the corner, he narrates, "I want you to picture, on this wall...a waterfall." Lorelai's mind slams shut. When Christopher keeps going, suggesting a flatscreen TV, a Barcalounger and a Big Mouth Billy Bass to add to the CrapShack dÃ©cor, Lorelai turns positively green. Finally, she realizes he's kidding. "I'm totally kidding," he admits. "Except about the flatscreen. We need a flatscreen!" Ugh, she says. She'd rather have the singing fish. A flatscreen would be too "Meet-George-Jetson-his-boy-Elroy," she says, wondering immediately if it's not, in fact, Leroy Jetson she's thinking of. Chris assures her it's Elroy, adding that while he's perfectly willing to embrace small-town Stars Hollow living, there are some things he won't be doing: "I'm not going to cobble my own shoes, churn butter, or watch a TV from 1976." Lorelai is offended: "What? This baby has a remote that has nineteen buttons on it!" Christopher asks if the house even has running water, and asks why she won't say yes to a flatscreen when she loves TV so much. ["Seriously. What is she saving the money for -- a really awesome range she'll never ever use?" -- Wing Chun] Just because she loves it, she says, doesn't mean she needs a giant one: "I love grapes, but I'm not going to sit down and eat one humongous gra...no, that would be fun."