Now, if you want to talk about sucking as a dad, let's talk about Christopher. I'm sorry, I don't care how cute you think he is, or how blue his eyes are, or how his last album with the Backstreet Boys was like, so totally bitchin' -- he sucks as a dad. And apparently, according to Lorelai, he also sucks at picking out clothes, as evidenced by the peach shirt she finds in his laundry basket. "Men who buy peach shirts buy [them] because they think they look good in peach," cringes Lorelai, "which means they are obsessed with their looks." Bingo. Hey, she said it, not me. And actually, I don't agree -- I think peach is a fine color for men to wear -- but Christopher probably wears his just to look at himself in the mirror all day. Lorelai's not done rifling through the laundry, where she also finds, much to her rage, her Police Synchronicity shirt that Christopher stole from her twenty years ago, like a dirty, stinking, lying thief, when he swore he didn't have it. Grounds for divorce! Now's your chance, Lorelai! "I lied," shrugs Christopher, and my husband bursts into tears as he remembers his identical t-shirt, lost in a house fire three years ago. "I accused my mother of throwing it out," Lorelai says, "and oh my God, I hated her. OH MY GOD, I could have had the best relationship with my mother if only you hadn't stolen my shirt." Instead of immediately punching him in the nuts and calling an attorney, Lorelai just pulls the shirt on over her sweater, swearing never to be parted from it again.
Still ranting, Lorelai follows Christopher into Rory's bedroom, where he is messing around and moving stuff. "I guess it's Gigi's room now, huh?" he says. "Weird." Lorelai's face goes pale as Christopher chatters on and on about stuff he wants to move to the garage and getting a desk for Gigi, and trundle beds for when Rory is home and they'll have to share. This is all too much for Lorelai, who tells Chris that she doesn't want to change Rory's room around without consulting Rory first, but what she really means is that she doesn't want HIM to change Rory's room without consulting LORELAI first. Which she might mention to him, since you know, they're married and everything, but that would require direct communication, and no one on this show except Christopher is capable of that -- and he's only able to do it because he is clueless about other people's feelings in the first place. Lorelai comes up with all sorts of reasons to leave Rory's room the way it is, and though this is all misplaced, I do feel for her. Chris assures Lorelai that if Rory were to ever need money for a place to live, they could give it to her, and he finally realizes what's up with Lorelai. "I know it's difficult," he tells her, "but things around here are going to change." Lorelai rolls her eyes, protesting too much, and says she knows that, but that she just doesn't want Rory to get more upset about their new circumstances than she already is. Christopher's eyebrows shoot up: this is the first he's heard that Rory's upset, and he is stunned. He gets mad that Lorelai is just now telling him about it. "I'm her father, Lorelai," he says very sternly, "and we're married now." UGH. You were Rory's father BEFORE you got married, dink. But whatever: all this room stuff is mostly about Lorelai anyway, and when she tells Chris that the whole issue is sensitive and that she'll talk to Rory when Rory's ready, he mopes out of the room. Don't make me feel sorry for Christopher, non-Palladinos! Stop it!