Gilmore Girls
It Should've Been Lorelai

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Outside, Lorelai does something you normally never see people do on television. She locks her front door. I don't even listen to what they're saying because I'm so amazed they have Lorelai locking her front door with a key like normal people do. Christopher tells Lorelai that Sherri was probably just trying to put her at ease so that she doesn't feel like they have to force a relationship. Lorelai asks where she got that idea. Christopher says he didn't tell her to do that. He admits he encouraged Sherri to know Rory, but that he never told her to avoid Lorelai. Christopher says he has no intention of killing Lorelai anytime soon. Lorelai says she's not going anywhere. Christopher tells Lorelai to back off, and says that she'll be in Sherri's life. Christopher then turns the tables and says that Lorelai never really thought of introducing Christopher to Max. He didn't even know about the wedding until the bachelorette party, and that Max got to know Rory pretty well. Now, Max was Rory's teacher, so he knew Rory before he knew Lorelai, and he actually spent a good number of weeks trying to avoid both Rory and Lorelai, so it's not really the same thing. That was also the time that Christopher was living in California or something, right? But still, yes, Lorelai never told Christopher that she was engaged to a man she didn't love because she still loves Christopher. These scenes are so long! Lorelai says that Christopher would have been a part of the Max equation. ["Stop talking about Max so much, everyone -- you'll summon him back!" -- Wing Chun] Christopher promises the same thing as he opens the door for her.

Emily's. Emily is surprised to see Christopher and asks where Rory is. Lorelai didn't tell Emily that she was bringing Christopher instead? Lorelai, you make some dumb-ass decisions. Emily asks if Rory's sick. Lorelai says she's not. Richard is so happy to see Christopher. They chat about golf and how great people look. They all ask for drinks. Emily asks where Rory is, and Richard finally notices that Rory isn't there. Richard says that Rory usually slips in so quietly that he hardly notices her. That's so not true. Everyone asks for a cherry in his or her drink. Then Lorelai tells Emily that she has an "eagle eye." I am going to pretend not to notice the forced "Eagle Eye Cherry" joke they just made. Christopher tells Emily that Rory is out with Sherri. This isn't making Emily happy at all. Lorelai says that she should have called. Emily asks how long Christopher has been with "this woman." The words "eight months" come in all strong and strange like they had to dub in later how long they had been dating because they initially got the time wrong. It looks like he said "a month." Richard says he bets Sherri's pretty. Lorelai says that she is. Richard asks whether Lorelai has something in her eye. Sherri works for L'Oréal. Emily asks what they're doing. Lorelai says it's dinner and a movie. She says it was her fault for not calling. Richard gives a monologue about how travelling on business isn't glamorous, and that usually you never get to see the city you're in. Christopher says his trips are pretty local -- just him and his Volvo. Emily and Richard are stunned and impressed that Christopher has the affordable, safe, family-ready Volvo. Lorelai adds that it's also a great car for "cranking Metallica." Richard doesn't appreciate Lorelai making jokes about drugs. Emily asks whether Christopher is planning on having a family with "this woman." Lorelai tells Emily to back off on the grilling. Christopher says he still drives a motorcycle. Richard then launches into the PSA against motorcycles and insurance reports that are grisly with people getting scraped off the highway. Did my mother write this segment on cars and motorcycles and business trips? Emily asks if they're living together. Lorelai tries to stop the third degree, but Christopher says it's fine. He says they are living together, but that they're looking for something bigger in a nicer area. They're looking for something historical. Emily says that lots of the historical homes are filled with mold and kill you slowly. She says she read it in "The New York Times Magazine." She says a new place has shoddy craftsmanship. She then yells that she thinks Rory shouldn't miss a dinner except if she's sick or there's an emergency. Christopher apologizes. Lorelai says that Christopher's apologized a million times (uh, no, this was the first time). Christopher offers to call Sherri and have her bring Rory by after the movie. Emily says this isn't what she wanted. She says she doesn't want to be patronized. She leaves the room. "That's just Emily," Richard explains to Christopher. Lorelai leaves to talk to Emily.

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