Strummy-strummy-la-la as Lorelai pulls her Jeep up to the house. At first I thought the lawn was a wreck, but I think she's just got some crazy mosaic going up to her front steps. She walks over to her now-empty garage and looks at the emptiness. La-la-LA-la-lonely! La-la-LA-la-breakup. La-la-LA-la-you- maybe-should-have- stuck-up-for-your- boyfriend-to-your- mom-the-zillion- times-she-made- fun-of-him-in-public. La-la-LA-la-he- built-you-an-ice-rink- and-you-complained- when-he-made-you- breakfast-in-your- own-kitchen. La-la-la-LA-la- I-know-Stars-Hollow- is-a-safe-neighborhood- but-should-you-really- leave-your-garage-open- like-that- and-it's-kind-of-dicky- that-Luke-left-it-like-that- with-the-lights-on- la-la-la-LAAAAAAA.
Stac(e)y: [*crying buckets*] That's what it looked like when Dad left us. *HUGS* Lorelai! I feel ya, girl!
Stars Hollow Elementary. Lulu wears a crazy outfit. She helps set up the stage. Luke arrives with his own tools. Bradley informs Luke that he's ten minutes late. Lulu introduces the other kid Luke will be working with. His name's Damon, and he wants you to know that his mother's a lesbian. This is the only fun fact he'll readily disperse, and he'll use it as an answer to questions, a way to greet someone, and perhaps a way to inform someone that he's hungry. Lulu's crazy jacket is covered in leprechauns. Bradley tells Luke they've got to get started on Tevye's house. Damon just wants to know if Luke knows any lesbians. He says he knows "three, maybe four," but they must not live in Stars Hollow. "I like lesbians," Damon says. "Yeah, they're swell," Luke says, backing away from the kid. Luke looks at the plans and tells the kids to grab Phillips-head screwdrivers from the toolbox. Bradley grabs a hammer and Damon holds up a roll of tape. Hee. Luke asks them if they've never been taught a Phillips-head screwdriver before. Damon: "My mother's a lesbian." Luke shows them the difference between a Phillips-head and a flathead screwdriver. Luke says if they get done by five, beers are on him. The kids leave to...go make Phillips-head screwdrivers, I guess, and in saunters Crazy Carrie. "What did Santa stuff in my stocking?" she asks. It's February, Carrie. Buy a calendar. She's heard about the breakup and is ready to pick up where Lorelai so foolishly left off. She mocks Lorelai's outfits while wearing leopard print. Carrie's the director of this shindig. Her daughter, who takes after her father, is currently hiding under a chair somewhere, as she always hides from her. Carrie saunters off, and Luke scolds the kids for leaving him alone with that woman.