Stac(e)y: Two boys! Rory's so lucky. And Marty's so nice. Logan's cute. Chinese food! I just got banned from some stupid forum for not using spellcheck. Hello? I've got better things to do than spell.
Chinese restaurant. Rich kids talk about getting drunk and not eating. A blonde named Juliet says she's got the kind of metabolism that doesn't allow her to eat food. Logan pours Rory some beer. She asks Marty if he wants some. He says no, so Logan pours him some. Logan's dating this entire table. Finn announces he's going to sleep with his date Rosemary tonight. Juliet looks like Michelle Williams and asks if she can watch Rory eat. She says she just has to hang in there until she gets a fat pre-nup with a gorgeous, rich man who will take care of her for the rest of her life or will have to pay her billions if he leaves her. Girl power! Do you guys like these rich kids? Honestly. Do they say a single thing that doesn't make you lip curl in disgust? Colin (or Finn, really, is there a difference but an accent? The names of these kids mean absolutely nothing), wears the most hideous sweater I've ever seen on this show -- brown with black migrating duck patterns across it -- launches into nostalgia for his boarding school. Marty listens to the boys talk about the good old days when they partied in Switzerland without parental supervision because their parents pay lots of money to pretend they don't have kids. Rory's like, "That's so awesome! My rich friends are so exciting!" Marty thinks it'd be lonely being away from home. The rich boys laugh at Marty, for he doesn't know how awesome it is to be completely numb, filthy rich, and a total asshole. Rory just keeps shaking her head and grinning, like, "They all just sound so adult! I love my rich friends." Finn/Colin tells Marty he didn't miss his family, and then the boys laugh and then they pipe in some other laughter from another scene so it looks like fifty boys are laughing at Marty as we do a close-up on his food-stamps face.
Stac(e)y: Juliane was funny, how she didn't eat? My sister's like that. Finn's cute! And the food looked so good. I hope Rory chooses Logan. He's so much cuter than Marty and hey, life is short! Ooh, that's a good quote for my sig file. I'm gonna go add it right now. I'm on IM with five different people right now! C_r_A_z_I_e!!! [*screams, hides head, eats Chinese food, calls a complete stranger to see if she can talk to an actual person for three seconds, goes to refrigerator, rewinds third television to restart ICGS episode for the tenth time, raises Logan ten bucks in her imaginary poker game in her kitchen, practices making out with hand, cries*]