Gilmore Girls
Gilmore Girls

Episode Report Card
Pamie: B | 443 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
"No! Jess! What About PROM?!"

Lorelai's at her late-night Booster Bash. She tells this huge lie about how the cash box got away from her for a second and eighteen dollars got lost in the wind. Wasn't she supposed to have deposited the money into the...never mind. This cash box. Forget it. Doug has been scared away, and there's no Max to be seen. The Booster lady complains about the yacht owner who has now added on a huge dock fee. But before she goes into her list of suggestions on how to get around paying this fee, she introduces a student who would like to address grad night. Cue Paris. The other ladies visibly groan. Paris, back from the blahs, is champing at the bit. She hates the idea of grad night on a yacht. She likens the entire experience to a concentration camp:. "Forget the inconvenience of being at sea with guests unable to leave if the party's dull, or if the band -- which will inevitably be composed of accountants with semi-mullets -- decides to do a half-hour tribute to Kenny G. The seasickness factor alone, abetted by snuck-in flasks and badly cooked food, could lead to an epidemic, which may lead to lawsuits the school could ill afford. These points conclusively call for a change in venue to a hotel ballroom, a restaurant facility, several of which I've already called. Here are the results of my research. I've also included a list of maritime disasters from the past fifty years -- capsizings, onboard fires, et cetera -- and, trust me, it'll put you off your lunch. Thank you for your time and cooperation." Paris leaves. After a moment, the Booster lady says she's thinking they should discuss the yacht fees directly with the owner. HI-sterical, right? Yeah, I know. But what else will they do with Paris, and how will they ever close up this Booster plot that doesn't exist? A short woman enters and announces that she's a drama teacher, she's the new faculty adviser, and that Max has already filled her in on everything. I wish my recaps could be that succinct. Lorelai leaves to stalk Max, leaving Joan in charge of the cash box. Oh, so that's how they resolve the Booster sideplot. Bye, Booster ladies! Thanks for the waste of time!

Lorelai makes small talk with a janitor until she just lies to him, walks past him, and enters Max's classroom. He's working. What time is it? Is it, like, 10 at night? He's working and the Booster club's meeting? What the heck? Anyway, Max doesn't want to see Lorelai. He says it's a bad time. She enters anyway. She asks if he's busy. He says he's really busy. She keeps coming closer, flirting more and more as he tries to blow her off. Lorelai says he's avoiding her. He says he's not. She asks why he's avoiding her by saying he's busy. He says he's really busy and not avoiding her. You get the point, right? Great. Anyway, Lorelai says he's supposed to make two rotations with the Boosters. He says he did three. She attended his last one. Lorelai asks for documentation. More small talk. Lorelai asks why he treated her so weird. He says he treated her with respect and kindness. Gilmores don't understand those two things, so Lorelai complains that she doesn't want him to treat her the same way he does all the other ladies, unless he mugged down with them, too. Max confesses that he did, and that Doug's a great kisser. This scene, besides being from completely out of nowhere, is so boring. Lorelai's making a big deal out of literally nothing, and Max has clearly stated he doesn't want to go anywhere near this woman who destroyed his heart less than a year ago. What's her problem? Why can't she see that? Instead, Lorelai actually chases Max around his desk as he begs her to leave him alone -- to stay ten feet away from him because he can't handle himself around her and he doesn't want to put himself in that position again. Lorelai is trying to pounce him. Max says this is where he works and there are people in the building and she's like a "mythological creature" that casts a spell on him and makes him act stupid: "I'm not stupid!" No? Then get the hell out of that room, Max.

Gilmore Girls

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