Gilmore Girls
Keg! Max!

Episode Report Card
Pamie: B- | Grade It Now!
"No! Jess! What About PROM?!"

Lane's band practices. I guess it's Sunday. The band celebrates a new first: they all stopped playing at the same time, finishing the song in unison. Rory tells them that they sounded great. Cross-armed and jiggly-legged beside her, Jess reluctantly agrees. Lane celebrates the fact that the band has a gig. A kid from school -- Kyle -- is having a party while his parents are out of town. Jess asks if they have enough songs. Hi, random question. Dave says they have enough for two half-hour sets. But the band doesn't have a name yet. Brian likes "The Harry Potters." Todd Lowe likes "Follow Them To the Edge of the Desert." He thinks it's memorable and classy. "I run out of breath every time I say it," Brian says. Todd Lowe tells Brian that, with Brian's asthma, he runs out of breath saying anything. Dave agrees that they can't name the band around Brian's respiratory issues. I love "Follow Them To the Edge of the Desert," after the whole "And You Shall Know Us By the Trail Of Dead," and any title Dave Eggers comes up with. Don't make me have to sit around remembering all of the words when I want to buy something, you know? Todd Lowe says that once they get famous their fans will shorten the band to just "FTTTEOTD." Hee. It'll totally be "F 3T EO TD," by the way. And have you guys seen the trailer for League of Extraordinary Gentlemen? The one where they want us to call it "LXG"? My ass. ["That's totally what I said when we saw the trailer. It's like when they tried to tell us that the abbreviation for Independence Day was 'ID4.' Yes, I know that Independence Day is the 4th of July, but there's no 4 in that title, just like there's no X initial in League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Shut up, Fox. The alphabet is not your plaything." -- Wing Chun] Brian asks Lane how she's going to lie to her mom. It's all an elaborate system of switcheroos involving Rory and Jess lugging drums and Jung Chu taking Lane out on another fake date. Rory and Jess make an abrupt and awkward exit. Brian suggests "The We" as their band name, as in "We are the We." Todd Lowe says he can't talk about this anymore.

Rory asks Jess if there's been any word on his car. Jess is all, "Nothing." Okay. Jess would totally have gotten another car by now. What, did he just quit Wal-Mart and start going to school? I'm sure he didn't. How's he skipping school these days? And how many cars is this kid going to go through? And why wouldn't Luke give him the car back by now? Where's he hiding it? Did Jess go to the cops eventually? So many questions! No real answers! Also, last week when Rory was teasing Jess for looking up how far away Yale was from Stars Hollow -- that's the nicest they've ever written Jess. He was reluctantly sweet and even a tiny bit romantic. But now he's back to just being shitty to her once again: "Say goodbye, it's gone. Whatever." So, I guess Jess doesn't care about his car being gone. It's sort of how I feel about Jess on this show now, since his days are so numbered. It's not really worth dissecting everything that's wrong about his character, is it? ["If you won't do it, I can pick up the slack." -- Wing Chun] Anyway, Rory says she likes that Jess is getting to know Dave. (I guess watching someone play guitar can bring you closer.) She says it'll make the four of them going to Prom together even better. Jess says he almost forgot about Prom. Rory says she knows he's trying to forget about it. Jess says he agreed and he's a man of his word, so he's still taking her to Prom. Rory says that if she only got to go to one more dance in her whole entire life, it'd be the Stars Hollow High Prom with Lane. Boys optional, it seems. Jess says he'll get the tickets this week. Rory offers to pay, but Jess says, "Not a chance." He kisses her. She reminds him that he'll have to wear a tux. "I know it's geeky..." she starts. Jess says that tuxes are also very James Bond. He also plans on stashing a change of clothes in the limo. They need to take a limo to go all the way across the street? They kiss again. Jess pats Rory on her stomach. She leaves to the sound of strummy-strummy la la.

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Gilmore Girls




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