We open on Rory and Lorelai walking down the street, discussing their underwear. Lorelai is out, and is walking Commando at the moment. She wonders how Rory has managed still to have underwear. She realizes that Rory has done a secret load of laundry and didn't ask Lorelai if she had anything to put in. Rory promises to do another load of laundry that evening. Lorelai says Rory doesn't have to, but that she hates doing laundry, so maybe she'll just buy herself another pair. They walk away so we can see Miss Patty do her Thanksgiving Dance magic for a few minutes. It must be cold out there in those pumpkin tights.
As Rory and Lorelai enter the diner, they see that Mr. Nutrition (who does have a name -- it's Luke. Have I mentioned that before?) is arguing with a Townie I call Cardigan Man. Cardigan Man thinks that Luke should have decorations in the diner just like the rest of the town. Luke says he won't be putting anything up. As Cardigan Man goes on about the importance of the Autumn Festival and how the diner is in the middle of the town, Lorelai and Rory start interrupting that they'd like some service. They ask for coffee and muffins. Luke and Cardigan Man continue arguing as Lorelai and Rory keep interjecting things, and for the first time, I really don't like Rory and Lorelai. They start with the interrupting, and then they start slamming their hands on the counter and yelling. Then Lorelai starts waving money in front of Luke and "woo"-ing, and then Rory shouts out that Lorelai isn't wearing any underwear. I guess since this show makes me tap into my inner pre-teen, I'm all embarrassed for Lorelai and Rory because I know they're about to get grounded for acting like idiots in public. I certainly would have. I'd have been grounded until I forgot the word for muffin. Lorelai eventually decides to get the food herself and goes behind the counter. Luke hands Lorelai a pair of tongs so she doesn't go touching all the muffins. Touching All the Muffins. The name of my seventeenth album. Lorelai and Rory start to leave the diner, and Luke asks about his tip. Lorelai says, "Oh, yeah -- here's a tip. Serve your customers." Luke counters with, "Here's another. Don't sit on any cold benches." Oh, Lorelai. That's a good tip. Trust me. Wednesday night, I wish I had known that tip. Luke and Cardigan Man go back to bickering about the tiny pilgrim salt and pepper shakers as we fade to the opening credits.
During the opening credits my boyfriend asks if Carole King is still alive. I decide not to talk to him for at least three hours. "Well, I'm just saying. It's good that she's getting some work." Ten. At least ten hours.