Sookie and Lorelai puzzle over what Jackson and Christopher could do together on their evening out. "How about Country Night at Miss Patty's?" Sookie suggests. Lorelai wonders if that's a great idea. "Well," Sookie agrees, "I mean, Jackson is a fiendish two-stepper, but he's handsy." Ha! Lorelai wonders what regular guys do, and they engage in some free association: "Grunt?" "Scratch?" "Leave the toilet seat up?" "Talk about sports?" "Talk about cars?" "Burp?" That did it. Sookie: "BEER." That's it! Sookie and Lorelai agree that Jackson's taking Christopher out for a beer at Casey's would be both simple and manly. Sookie: "And while they're doing all that scratching and grunting, we could actually go do something fun!" Lorelai: "Country Night at Miss Patty's!" Sookie: "Mmm hmm, hee haw!"
Oh my God, the internet date. He just told a story about his grandfather dying, and she laughed. This is the most miserable woman on Planet Earth right now. Jeez, lady, just fake a coughing fit and run out the door!
Speaking of miserable, April is at the counter at Luke's, sulking about the move. Trying to cheer her up, he suggests that they rent A Brief History Of Time again: "Maybe I'll understand something more than the credits this time." When April doesn't react, Luke tries again, saying that moving to New Mexico won't be so bad. April freaks, going from 0 to 60 in a rage, yelling that she doesn't want to move to the hot, dusty, miserable desert. Luke ushers her outside for a walk, telling her that she can come back and visit her friends over summers and breaks and stay with him. "No," April pouts, and tells the terrible tragedy of Janie Friedman, who moved last year, saying that she would keep in touch, and now nobody ever hears from her anymore. Luke says that it doesn't have to be like that, but April wails that she and Anna are moving two thousand miles away and that's how it's going to be: "Mom is ruining my life! I'm just going to be that weird, dorky loser girl all over again!" She throws herself on Luke's shoulder, practically chewing it off in her zeal along with the rest of the scenery.