Check it: I made banana bread the other day so I didn't waste the two bananas that turned all black on top of my microwave. And it's really good banana bread. Awesome. But Stee calls himself a "banana purist" and will only eat bananas in their natural state and hates all things that are flavored with or like bananas (I didn't know this before I did the baking). So I tried to pass the loaf (Dirty!) to a friend, making a big deal like I'd baked it for her, but she's a vegan and pretty much ordered it out of her house immediately. I'm from Texas, where when someone goes, "I'm a vegan," the Texan goes, "Oh, so y'all want fish, then?" I forgot eggs are off-limits. So now I've got this whole thing of banana bread and I'm not going to eat it all by myself, because that's like having a buttercicle for dessert and I just won't let myself do that. Again, more stuff I'm telling you that you don't need to know because recapping alone with wine has no edit function. Djb just called me to give me a recap break!
Okay. So it's the next morning. I kept Djb up until 4 in the morning his time. This morning Stee said to me, "I don't imagine you're feeling good on the other side of half a bottle of Two-Buck Chuck." I had a headache in my eye for about fifteen minutes, but I'm now on my second cup of coffee and I'm ready to go! Lesson learned: not so good at recapping with the booze. Okay. Focused. Back to the horse in the Dragonfly. Rory tells Lorelai to let Rory know if Jess spits in Lorelai's face or something. Lorelai asks permission to be able to spit back if that happens. Permission isn't granted. Lorelai threatens to run up to Jess, tell him she loves him, and then run away really fast, to give him a taste of his own medicine. Rory tells Lorelai not to do anything out of the ordinary. Lorelai gasps when she sees Cletus, the horse, in the dining room, and gets off the phone to handle the situation. Michel asks Lorelai for a signature on something. Lorelai asks him if he knew that Cletus was in the hotel. Michel says that the horse has been there for about twenty minutes or so, but that his job isn't "horse wrangler," so he figured someone else would take care of it. Ditto for Sookie, who walks in, reveals the findings of her recent Google search (Jack LaLanne is alive), and agrees that the horse has been there for close to half an hour. Lorelai makes a new rule that if horses walk into the building, someone should take care of that, even if they aren't officially licensed by the horse bureau. That's it for this horse subplot, by the way. Just enough time to get letters from PeTA, and then they move on. This scene is more interesting if we're supposed to think that the three of them hate each other and now they're all stuck together working at this inn. Because everything they say is dripping with sarcasm and fake nice-nice, and I'm not sure why they're doing it. So I'm pretending they're in a big fight that we don't get to know about. Hey, didn't Sookie break her ankle? What happened with that?