Gilmore Girls
Last Week Fights, This Week Tights

Episode Report Card
Pamie: B | 3 USERS: A+
Speak Now Or Forever Hold Your Peaceth

Glenn tells Rory that he's getting back together with his girlfriend back home. His girlfriend Xandria Box. Glenn shows Rory a picture. Rory -- always quick to judge other people's relationships -- tells Glenn that the girl is, like, twelve. Glenn says that's a picture of her from when she was little. Which is a weird thing to be showing people, really. Not to be all Rory about it, but man, Glenn. Update the photo, pervy. Glenn shouts, "Don't make this into something dirty. She drives and everything." He storms off as Rory tells him to have a good summer.

Someone unlocked Tana's door. It's been so long since we've seen her (and why does she only have that one outfit from the costume shop of Annie?) that I've forgotten her name. Anyway, she introduces Rory to her boyfriend, Chester Fleet. Tana and Chester are playing a bit of a game. Chester lost some kind of bet, and now he has to speak in clichés for the rest of the day. Therefore, "You can't believe everything you hear" is the first thing he says to Rory. Janet, who is not CuteDean's wife Lindsay, is all packed to leave (all of Janet's belongings apparently fit into one duffel bag). She tells Rory to get herself a cup of nasty punch, a mixture of all the leftover booze in the dorm. They put a cup for her in the fridge. Tana admits that the cup was intended for her, but she's not having one. "Lips that touch wine shall never touch mine," Chester agrees. Tana thinks the game is fun. Janet and Rory hug goodbye. Paris runs in, begging Janet to wait. She clutches Janet, who is shocked that Paris is touching her, as Paris moans that she hates how their group is splitting up: "It's so the end of something." Janet asks Paris if she's off her meds. What happened to Paris's life coach? I wish he was sad to break down the crafts table. I like Paris's shirt. Tana asks Rory and Paris to sign her photo collage. She points out all of the pictures, and how every single one is of a couple. But not the pictures of single Rory, unless you count the picture where she's standing next to a lamppost. Paris remarks that Rory's love life has had quite a dry spell this year. Hey, Paris -- there isn't even a picture of you in the collage, so calm down, secret girlfriend. Rory argues that she's had a crazy ol' time with boys this year. Yeah, there was the probably-gay one, the naked one, the married one, the boring one, the one who looks like Jess, and the one who is Jess. In fact, the only tongue action Rory got this year was from Paris. That is sad. She'll never have that freshman year back, and she wasted it being on the phone to her mom. Meanwhile, Lorelai's getting laid every night. Not really fair, is it, Rory? Paris tells Rory she doesn't get out enough. "All work and no play makes Jack..." begins Chester, who stops himself when he realizes how annoying he is.

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Gilmore Girls




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