Gilmore Girls
Let Me Hear Your Balalaikas Ringing Out

Episode Report Card
Al Lowe: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Is That A Balalaika In Your Pocket...

Back in her living room that evening, Lorelai is trying to trying to harass Babette into choosing Lorelai's paint colors for her. Babette says that choosing paint is harder than choosing a cantaloupe, which is really hard! Lorelai leans in for the kill: "I don't know if you're aware of this, but, um, if the painters are ready to paint and you don't have your colors ready, they'll leave and you'll never see them again." Luke yells from the kitchen to Babette, telling her not to let Lorelai bully her. Lorelai tells him to leave them alone and go about his business. "You're being cruel to Babette," Luke answers, "and you're going to rot in hell for this!" Lorelai is incredulous, and Babette needlessly apologizes for causing an argument. Lorelai finally sighs and says she knows she has to choose the colors herself. Babette gives Lorelai a bunch of brochures for Paul Anka -- doggy day care, training, etc. Lorelai says that when Paul Anka meets other dogs on walks, he'll bark at them, and then when they turn around and look at him, he'll play dead. Babette says that, in any case, he's the cutest basket case she's ever seen. I can't imagine why Paul Anka is such a freak. I mean, everyone surrounding him is so calm and healthy.

Babette leaves, and Lorelai finds Luke in the kitchen choosing jersey styles for the soccer team. He tells the vendor over the phone that he wants the best stitching, even if it costs double. Dude, isn't Luke the cheapest guy on the planet? I guess not. Also, why did I give this episode an A-? I can't remember. It is so boring so far, I cannot even muster the funny. What happens later that made me like it? Seriously, I can't remember right now. I wish I had a recap for this recap. Anyway, Luke orders the jerseys and, on Lorelai's insistence, orders one each for her, himself, and Paul Anka. Lorelai is proud of the way Luke has embraced the whole soccer-team thing. Luke says his friend Ed told him that the team was good, and had the potential to go all the way. Lorelai's eyes light up. She says that, one day, someone will make a movie about the reluctant, handsome diner owner who sponsors a team all the way to the national finals. "And you know who would play you?" she says. "Tobey Maguire." Luke says he's way too young, and then all casually goes "What about that Vito Morgenstern?" Lorelai: "Sure, or Viggo Mortenson. Or...Donald Sutherland." Good one, Lorelai. Luke says that Sutherland is too old: "He's got jowls!" They are distracted by Paul Anka, whose weird behavior is escalating. He comes into the kitchen and begs and scratches to go into Rory's closed room. Lorelai worries over him as Luke calls the vendor back to order more stuff for the team.

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Gilmore Girls

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