Gilmore Girls
Gilmore Girls

Episode Report Card
Pamie: A- | 338 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Yale. Harvard. Jess. Dean. Get it? Got it? Good.

And now it's Friday, I guess. Emily is making her cook make a salad over again, because she doesn't want any walnuts in it. The rest of the family is gathered around the table. Rory and Lorelai are hunched over in hunger. Richard is reading the paper. Lorelai can't believe Emily's making her cook remake the salad a fifth time. Emily says she likes things done correctly. "Preferably the first time," Richard adds. Lorelai tells Emily that in Europe, they eat the salad last and dessert first. She asks if they can pretend they're in Europe. Emily asks if the situation is so dire that Lorelai can't wait another ten minutes for her salad. Lorelai says that four salads ago it wasn't dire, but now it's "Your money for nothin' and your chicks for free." Very funny. Emily looks to Rory for an explanation. "She didn't have lunch." Emily leaves the table to fetch their European dinner. Richard thinks it's wonderful: "I was getting so tired of being an American, day after day after day." Rory tells Lorelai to think of something else, something disgusting that would take her mind off of food. "Ari Fleischer?" Lorelai asks. He's the most attractive person in Washington! Richard says that Ari Fleischer is America's mouthpiece. "Officially not hungry now," Lorelai brats.

Emily announces that Lilliana will be out shortly with the "sand dabs." I have no idea what that is. Emily says she's afraid they'll have to let Lilliana go. Richard: "Well, if that's how you feel, Emily." Lorelai can't believe Emily's firing someone over walnuts in a salad. Lor, it was, like, four times she made the salad over and over again. What made her hand continually toss nuts into the leaves? Why did she even have walnuts near the salad over and over? Lorelai warns that if Emily isn't a little nicer to her help, she might find herself in a "Frank Lloyd Wright" situation: "Mrs. Wright apparently had this major problem with her help. She was very rough on them and they totally hated her. So this guy, who had worked for her forever, he had finally had enough." She asks Rory to concur that "the incident" was over walnuts. Rory says she believes the exact cause has not been determined. Lorelai continues. She says that Mrs. Wright had a dinner party full of people and her disgruntled servant went outside, locked all the doors and windows, doused the house in gasoline and set it on fire. The guests couldn't get out because the doors were locked, so they went out the windows, but "Mr. Angry Puss" was standing outside with an axe, and he hacked them all into little pieces. Emily asks why Lorelai would tell her a story like that. Lorelai concludes that sometimes eating walnuts is preferable to getting burned or getting hacked to death. I call my Frank Lloyd Wright-buff friend, who not only confirms this story, but adds to it. Apparently the woman wasn't Wright's wife, but his mistress. Her child was also killed. Wright later rebuilt the house, and thirty years later it burned down again. From the Donner party to this, it's a gory episode, huh? Emily threatens to make Lorelai eat dinner in her room. Rory leaves to get another soda. Lorelai requests a large bag of walnuts. Richard stands to get some more ice, and asks Emily if she needs anything. Emily says she's fine. Richard leaves. Lorelai begins sniffing the air. Emily barks at her to stop.

Gilmore Girls

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