Gilmore Girls
Let The Games Begin

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Yale. Harvard. Jess. Dean. Get it? Got it? Good.

Luke shuts the door and asks Jess what was going on up there. Jess says nothing, but Luke's not buying it. He says he walked in and the two of them were like shrapnel, they blew apart so quickly. Jess compliments Luke's timing and says he might have to hang a sock on the door next time. Gross. Luke shouts that there will be no hanging of socks on doors in his house. Go, Luke. Jess says he was kidding. Luke asks how hanging a sock on the door could be funny. Jess says that depending on the design of the sock, it could be hilarious. The old Jess is back, ladies and gentlemen! Move over Jess 2.0. It's dry, assholic Jess again. Luke tells Jess to sit down. Luke says it's time to lay down a few ground rules. He tells Jess that when Rory's upstairs, the door must remain open and they aren't allowed on either end of the apartment. They must stay in the middle, at the couch or table, in view of the door, as long as they stay in two different places. They cannot both sit on the couch, or both sit in chairs. Jess says he gets it. Luke says that Rory's curfew on weekdays is 9 PM, on weekends it's 11. No alcohol, cigarettes, or anything else Nancy Reagan would find unacceptable. Jess asks if Luke wants Jess to commit him, or if he can do it himself. Luke says he's not joking. He calls Jess "Mister" to prove just how much he's not joking. Jess reminds Luke that he's Jess's guardian, and not Rory's. Luke says that Rory doesn't need the guardian. Jess says that Rory tried to kiss him, that she did the old stretch and yawn, or the Danny Zuko sneeze and boob-grab. Luke tells him to stop. Jess asks what he thinks is going to happen. Luke says that Jess knows what he thinks is going to happen. Jess says he doesn't: "Tell me. Tell me what I'm gonna do to her." Luke says that he won't get to do anything to Rory, because when they're at Rory's house, there's Lorelai, and when they're at Luke's, there's Luke, and when they're outside, "there's Taylor." Jess tries to compare his situation to Romeo and Juliet's, but I'm not listening. Luke looks pretty pleased with his parenting skills, with the rules he just laid out.

Lorelai's all packed and ready for the road trip. She tells Rory that it's time for them to get a move on. Rory says she'll be right there. Lorelai tells Rory to take an extra coat. There's some debate about whether that's necessary, since they're only going for one day, and how Emily has rules about road trips and it's best not to cross her rules. Rory says she'll take another coat. Lorelai pulls out a book she bought as research for their trip: The Best of New Haven. Rory comments on how small the book is. If they get really bored, they can go and visit all of the surviving members of my family, on both sides. Anyway, Lorelai has found one of the best taco places on the East Coast, and it's only ten minutes away from campus. "You haven't had a taco until you've spent some time at Hector's," Lorelai reads. "Crisp and meaty -- " "Dirty," Rory interrupts. Lorelai thanks her and reads the rest of the blurb. Lorelai figures they'll go get tacos while Richard's Poofing it up. This episode sure has a lot of filler dialogue where people are just chatting, huh?

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Gilmore Girls

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