Why don't I have the eKara karaoke machine yet? Nobody loves me.
Rory finds Lorelai poring over her list in the kitchen. Rory asks Lorelai what happened at school today, because Lorelai was supposed to pick Rory up. I'd be so much more pissed than Rory is if my mom was at school and forgot to pick me up. I'd instantly accuse her of mugging down with Max in the chess room. I'm sure Chilton has a chess room, by the way. Rory asks what happened, and Lorelai tells her that she yelled at Charleston since Rory doesn't have a Matrix coat and that she got yelled at and called a bad Chilton Mom. Rory says that Lorelai's busy. Lorelai says that she doesn't help at school functions. Rory says that Lorelai sucks at arts and crafts. Lorelai says she doesn't chaperone school events. Rory reminds her that she got pregnant at sixteen. Lorelai says she's not doing her part in Rory's education. Rory says it sucks that they both got busted. Lorelai says she's going to find a club because she wants someone to write a good letter for Rory to get into Harvard. She says they should just go along with this evil plan so that Rory can get into Harvard and one day they'll buy Chilton and turn it into a rave club. Lorelai suggests the Chilton Cheer Society, where they wear matching hats.
Rory slowly walks over to her lunch table and puts down her tray. She stops and turns behind her. A girl stands up to leave, so Rory walks over to ask if she can take that seat. She says there's a huge draft where she was sitting and was wondering if she could sit down. The head Heather with the red hair says she can. "Your name is Laurie," Red Heather says. Rory corrects her and asks for her name. "Francie," the girl sitting next to Red Heather says. Rory asks whether the girl who said "Francie" is Francie. The "Francie"-sayer says that she's Ivy, and that Red Heather is named Francie. Francie says that important people never have to speak for themselves. Rory says that she just learned something new. The names of the girls around the table sound like Frances, Urine, Lily, Spleen, Bad Asia, Lana, Asia, Asia, Lem. Lem on the end says her name is short for Lemon, so I don't think I got most of the other names all that incorrectly. Francie says they were just discussing Homecoming, and asks Rory her thoughts. Paris walks by, carrying her tray. Rory says it was a great movie and then realizes she was thinking of Coming Home. Francie thinks that Homecoming should be put to sleep. She asks if she can call Rory "Ror." "Not unless provoked," Rory says. Slowly, Paris walks backwards into the frame, staring open-mouthed at Rory. Ivy asks whether Rory has a nickname, and Rory explains that her name is really Lorelai. "Lorelai! That's a weird name," says Lemon. Francie says that Lorelai sounds southern. She asks whether Rory is a belle. The bell rings, and Rory jokes that she can command them. The world's shortest lunch comes to a close as the table of Heathers gets up and leaves. Rory is very pleased with herself.