Outside, as they walk to the bar, Zach notices how quiet Lane is. "I just kind of realized something today," she says. "I realized I can't go on tour." She says she would really love to, and that she's really sorry. "You don't have to be sorry about anything," Zach says. "I'll just call Graham tomorrow and tell him we can't go." Aw. But that's not what Lane's saying. "I'm saying I can't go," she says. "I still want you to go." Zach: "You do?" Lane: "Hell yeah." Awesome. She tells him that he can't leave her and the boys for two months, but she says that's the whole point -- two months isn't a long time, and she can see a lot of his shows. "You," he tells her, "are the coolest."
Speaking of the coolest, back at Kacey's, Kirk is KILLING the place with his own take on Culture Club's "Do You Really Want to Hurt Me?" Oh, Boy George, you crazy, crazy man. Please get your insane ass in gear and come back out to take over the world. We are simply sitting here waiting. The crowd sits in awe as Kirk lays it down. "I must be drunk," Lorelai says, "'cause he sounds pretty good." Rory says Lorelai should start warming up then, because she's up next. "I can't follow Kirk," Lorelai says in a faux-panic. "He can really sing!" Lane and Zach arrive to hugs all around. Lane and Rory catch up as Lorelai and Zach hit the bar. Rory tells Lane about the Reston meltdown, and Lane fills her in on the Vapor Rub news. Rory worries about Lane and Zach's original band. "Hep Alien," Lane says, "will live to rock again, but right now, opportunity calls." She says it will be hard for her to be apart from Zach for two months, but they will make it work. "Hmm," Rory smiles, "when did you get so mature?" Lane says that she thinks maybe the mature gene kicks in once you become a mother. Perfect setup, yes, for Lorelai to engage in some supermature behavior on stage. "Honey," she says into the microphone, "it's another really embarrassing moment for your diary." One day, internet, I will tell you all about the Korean karaoke bar/"massage parlor" right down the road from my house and all the strange and horrifying times I have had there. Well, in fact, maybe I won't tell you.
Lorelai puts her shot down just in time for her song to cue up. "Happy Graduation," she says, as strains from "I Will Always Love You" fill the bar. This is sweet for approximately nine reasons, three of which are as follows: 1) I don't know if she's trained or anything, but it's obvious Lauren Graham can actually sing and she's faking bad singing. Bad singing, if one is capable of carrying a tune, is hard to fake; 2) The music is that of Dolly's original; 3) The crowd or townies loves it, cheering when she kicks into the chorus.