The garage has been cleaned out entirely, without the fun a garage-sale episode would have brought. Bummer. Lorelai tells Lane to keep the garage door closed and have the music stop by 8. I don't know how they'll keep the garage closed when their instruments are on the driveway. My friend Todd Lowe -- who plays Zach, the lead singer -- then proceeds to hit on Lorelai. Every week, she's getting hot teen action. Lorelai tries to get Rory to bail her out on the hot teen action, but Rory encourages Lorelai, saying that Todd Lowe is cute. She calls Lorelai "Pamela Des Barres." When she later calls her "Pam," and says it next to Todd Lowe, I am simply forced to take it as a shout-out. Lorelai excuses herself. Todd Lowe invites her to see a gig next month, but Lorelai says she's not allowed to listen to music because of her tiny hollow "tubey" thing inside her ears. Tubey. This entire scene is a shout-out to us. Thank you, Gilmore Girls! "She's some kind of fine!" they make my friend say to Rory. It's weird and gross to tell someone that their mom is "some kind of fine."
Rory squats next to Lane, who still can't believe their band gets to rehearse in Rory's garage. Rory says they can thank her in the liner notes. Lane says she'll put Rory right under Jesus' name. Rory says that's good billing. It's not that this episode has any jokes, per se. It's really just like watching people talk about their lives. Rory asks Lane about the gig next month. The band is playing some birthday party, as long as the girl turning sixteen doesn't get grounded again. See? Dave walks up to Lane and says that now they have a space, they need to "get serious about the sound." He tells Lane that she's going to have to step up the playing. He says she's sloppy, and needs to play clean like Moon. "I know you're a girl, but I need you to play like a guy," he says. Lane just keeps on yes-sirring him. Dave gets really condescending, asking if that's too hard for her. She promises to be better. Dave walks away. Rory runs up and immediately starts complaining about what a dick Dave has suddenly become. Lane beams, and says their plan is working. Apparently, they don't want anyone else in the band to know they're dating, so Dave's just going to be a total dick to her whenever they're around so they have no idea. You know, how high-school guys act like total dicks to girls they like? Whatever. I can't believe Lane would ever go for this, and Dave's way too good at being a dick for me not to think he's secretly taking out his frustrations on her. Lane says she knows she's the best drummer in the world, and there's no way what he's saying means anything. Why wouldn't Lane have told Rory about this plan earlier? Dave walks over and tells Lane that he needs her to not suck. "God, he's wonderful!" Lane gushes. Rory looks like she buys this as much as we do.