Chilton. Student Council meeting. Wait, when was the wedding? Is it in a week? Then is it Monday? Tuesday? Gah. Louisa doesn't know what to do about her boyfriend. She knows it's time to break up, but he seems so happy with her. JEEZ, LADIES. GET SOME SPINES. Even Louisa is letting the boy dictate her decisions in life? This girl is only ruled by the perfect gloss. Fraulein suggests that Louisa date his brother, so her boyfriend gets mad at her and won't be hurt by their breakup. Louisa says that's so "been there, done that." We wouldn't want a boy to feel anything sad, now, would we? It's best to lower ourselves, degrade ourselves, and do mean things so that they feel justified in their confused and angry feelings. What the hell is going on in this episode? Louisa points out that dating the brother is exactly how she got this boyfriend in the first place. Fraulein concludes that it really is time to go to college, since they've slept with all of Hartford by now.
There's a new advisor for the Student Council meeting, and they somehow think we won't notice. But they made a big stink about Paris hating the advisor, and then they just get rid of him without an explanation or finishing the plotline of him being scared of her? The advisor asks Rory where Paris is, as she's almost fifteen minutes late. "Is she?" Rory asks. Um, didn't you just stroll in, buddy, with everybody else? Isn't everyone fifteen minutes late? The advisor decides to start without her. Rory bangs the gavel, but Paris runs in at that moment, saying she's here. She makes a snotty comment at Rory, who makes one back. Where's Francie? Isn't this what she worked so hard to get? Paris takes the gavel. Rory makes a snotty comment. Paris gives a lengthy speech about the oath they took when they were sworn into office. "I hate anything that starts with a speech," Fraulein echoes my sentiments. Paris passes out proof that Rory's committed several counts of felony and treason. Rory and Paris bicker loudly. Paris calls for the impeachment of Rory Gilmore. This is immediately struck down by the advisor, but there's much, much, much more discussion about it. Rory tries to quit, but they won't let her. Where's Francie? Where's the real advisor? What is wrong with the staff at Chilton? Paris and the advisor bicker. Then there's this "No, you resign!" "No, you resign!" bullshit. May I remind everyone that this entire thing is because Paris is embarrassed that everyone knows she has a boyfriend? At this point, Louisa decides to stay with her boyfriend until Friday and just see how it goes. I would give you my opinion about all of this, but my boyfriend hasn't told me what it is yet. The advisor (who is one of the most stilted actors this show has ever seen) tells the girls to take their argument somewhere else. He says that they should only discuss school matters. Paris and Rory sit down. Paris asks for fundraising ideas for re-plastering the swimming pool. Paris and Rory share a long, silent look at each other, since we are out of dialogue, have no joke to end on, and have just sort of lost the drive for the scene because of the advisor's clunky delivery of his last line.