Gilmore Girls
Lorelai's First Cotillion

Episode Report Card
Al Lowe: C+ | 2 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
You Can Dance If You Want To

Lorelai and Rory arrive at the Gilmore manse for our first Friday Night Dinner of the season. Lorelai is about as exited about it as you'd expect. "Hey, punch me in the stomach!" she suggests to Rory. "Real quick! Jab jab! Not too hard, just enough to cause a little internal bleeding!" Rory says that sounds like she'll have to punch Lorelai pretty hard. Lorelai agrees about the flaw in this plan. Plus, she adds, internal bleeding is hard to prove, and Emily wouldn't excuse her from dinner for anything less than visible blood. So, she reasons, Rory is going to have to punch her in the face. "I'll heal!" she insists when Rory declines. "I'd much rather spend the night in the germy emergency room getting eight to ten stitches than go in there for dinner!" She also says that a punch in the face might give her a really groovy scar, which she's always wanted, and would come with the added bonus of being able to tell people that her psycho daughter drop-kicked her for no apparent reason. The only thing Rory can really drop on her is a little rational thought: they haven't had dinner with the folks in three weeks, so Lorelai needs to "suck it up." All of this happens in the first fifty-nine seconds of the episode, by the way. This show is on crystal meth with the chatter tonight. Lorelai reminds Rory that she missed the last dinner to go spend time with Logan. "Aw, I miss Logan," Rory says, wistful. Lorelai: "Yeah, me, too. Let's go somewhere and talk about him for four or five hours."

Rory tells her again that they're going in, but Lorelai delays the inevitable. This FND, she says, is going to be worse than ever because of the whole Luke debacle. "Just tell them really quick," Rory suggests, "like ripping a Band-Aid off." Lorelai rolls her eyes: "Like ripping a Band-Aid off that's been superglued, stapled, and surgically embedded in my arm!" Rory tells Lorelai just to tell them early so that they can all move on and talk about more pleasant things, "like the middle east." Lorelai continues to panic about the unknown results of the Luke revelation. Rory says that however the Grandparents come at her mom, Rory will deflect their negativity. "How will you deflect?" Lorelai asks, skeptical. Rory: "Well, I don't know. Maybe I'll talk about Bangalore." Lorelai excitedly suggests instead that Rory tell her grandparents that she's converting to Judaism: "That will throw the whole Friday Night Dinner thing in jeopardy!" ["Finally, confirmation that the Gilmores are not Jewish." -- Wing Chun] Good plan, but they are interrupted when the door opens...

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Gilmore Girls

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