Gilmore Girls
Lorelai's Graduation Day

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Pamie: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Rhapsody in Blue

Rory finds her bus. Jess is walking her to the door. Some guy stops Rory and asks her the way to 44th. Rory points him in a direction. After he leaves, she brags that she was mistaken for a local. Jess, of course, points out that Rory sent the guy the wrong way. Rory is about to go back and tell him the correct directions, but Jess says the guy will probably figure it out when the streets are going in the wrong number. Jess is very cool and leans against the bus all cool. Rory says she has to go. She says she has to go to the graduation. She stalls long enough to make sure he's not going to kiss her and then gets on the bus. She watches him through the window as she finds her seat. "Why did you come here?" he asks her. She opens the window to hear him better. He asks her again. "Because you didn't say goodbye," she says. The strummy-strummy-la-la music starts up again as Jess says goodbye to Rory. She says goodbye and he takes off. He takes off? He doesn't even stay to watch her bus leave? What a dick. Oh, man. A sailor just got on the bus. Can I have all my clichéd actors make a single line onto the bus, please?

Lorelai applies makeup while looking into a tiny mirror. She sneezes and makeup goes flying. "Great, I'm Woody Allen in Annie Hall," she says. A pot and a coke reference in the same episode? What's going on? Some girl walks up to Lorelai and calls her "smart" for thinking ahead long enough to bring a mirror and lip gloss. She's a genius; that's why she's graduating. Lorelai lends the mirror to the girl. The girl complains that she looks like hell because she ran here straight from work at Kinko's. "Hey, Liza," some guy behind her says. "That gets me thinking. Maybe you and I oughta do a little 'reproducing' after the ceremony." Liza says, "Clever." The guy says, "Don't be a snot." "Shut up," Liza says. She explains to Lorelai that he's her boyfriend. His name's Zack. These two will never get funnier. Liza says they're breaking up because they're transferring to different schools. Uh, no. You're graduating. Therefore, you aren't transferring. She admits that she'll miss the community college. Zack says he won't miss it. "It's bush league," he says. He complains that his parents messed up their investments and lost the money they were supposed to give him for college. By the way, Zack is, like, thirty-seven. Liza has a deviated septum and whines that it might have been his "two point zilch" GPA that landed him in the community college pool. They bicker in fourth-grade clichés. Lorelai asks if they want to give it another go, since they're darling together. Liza thanks Lorelai for the mirror. She says that a bunch of them are going to Shakeys afterwards for pizza. She invites Lorelai along. Uh, I've never been to a Shakeys, but the ones around here are the scariest pizza joints I've ever seen. With free margaritas on Tuesdays. Lorelai says she's going out with her daughter afterward, but that it sounds like Liza will have fun. Liza is disappointed for some reason, having made the fastest friend in the world. Zack comes back in and bitches about the "blue blooded rich woman" out there setting up professional film equipment. I don't understand why Lorelai is mortified and isn't sticking up for herself and her family in front of these snotty assholes. Instead she's all, "Rich people suck" and "I hate those people." Why would she want to be friends with these dicks? Zack and Liza bitch about how much they hate people with money. They want to kill money people. Just three seconds ago, Zack was complaining that his rich parents couldn't afford his school once the invested unwisely. So, isn't Zack a rich person? Forget it. This storyline blows.

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