Independence Inn. Sookie enters the kitchen and checks to make sure Lorelai's eyes are closed. In all of her spare time, Sookie has made a graduation cake for Lorelai, shaped like a mortarboard. Man, I can't believe this new shirt is ruined. It's a black t-shirt with a gray star. Man. I'm so pissed off. The cake is filled with two pounds of crushed chocolate espresso beans. Wow. Sookie is a much better friend than Lorelai deserves. Sookie tells Lorelai she brought her own high-school graduation pictures that Lorelai wanted to see. She makes Lorelai promise not to laugh when she sees them. Lorelai promises. Then she laughs. "You're stoned!" Lorelai says. "Totally," Sookie smiles. So much for the Family Friendly Forum. Lorelai laughs and says she thought Sookie hated pot. Sookie says that there was so much peer pressure that if Gilbert Garcia offered you a toke, you had to take it. She says she was nauseous all day. Lorelai finds the picture of Sookie standing with her parents. Sookie says it's a traditional "parents flanking the graduate" shot. Michel asks what they're looking at. Lorelai tells him, and then asks what his graduation was like. "It was dignified, as much French ceremonies are. Poetry was read, a string quartet played. A ballerina performed." Lorelai asked if he drank Boone's Farm and knocked a beach ball around. Michel says he doesn't understand a word of what Lorelai just said. "That's why we work," Lorelai says. Her phone rings.
It's Christopher. Lorelai's happy and excited about her big day. Suddenly everyone knows about this day. Christopher has sent Lorelai a present. Lorelai asks if something came for her. Michel says that the basket was very heavy and gave him a twinge, so he dropped it in the lobby. Lorelai tells Christopher that she's got a "crack staff," right in front of Sookie, who is still cutting the cake she made for Lorelai. You know, the cake that Lorelai just completely abandoned for her baby's daddy. Christopher says he put the basket together himself. Lorelai sits down to sift through the basket (which would have cost a pretty penny). There's a $25 savings bond, a youth hostel card, What Color Is Your Parachute?, a DVD of The Graduate, The Portable Nietzsche, an application to join the armed forces, and something in a tiny velvet box. Okay, before she got to the necklace, I was pretty pissed off. This guy is the reason she doesn't have a diploma. And he's got one and he's all Mr. Moneybags running around the country not paying child support while Lorelai had to give up any kind of dream to raise a kid. I wish the basket was filled with the money he owes her instead of some crap necklace that she can't stop gushing over. Lorelai can't believe how incredible Christopher is for giving her a pearl necklace. I'm giggling that he gave her a pearl necklace because I'm usually a thirteen-year-old boy. ["And you've been watching too much of that other show you recap." -- Wing Chun] Christopher is also a thirteen-year-old boy, because he then says, "I think you're awesome, Lor." Way cool, dude. He says he really admires what she did, taking all of his responsibilities and letting him have a life where he can pretend he doesn't have a kid while she lived in a shack at an inn trying to raise a kid when she wasn't even twenty. Oh, did he not say that? My bad. He was supposed to. Once again, Christopher can't even show up for this, so he tells Lorelai to take lots of pictures for him. Lorelai can't, since she doesn't have a camera. He tells her to check the basket. There's a disposable tucked in there. Lorelai, check to see if there's your past seventeen years tucked in there, too. See if he's left you some cash or a down payment on your own inn or something. No? Well then take that pearl necklace to the Stars Hollow Pawn Shop and see how much Kirk will give you for it. Oh, and Christopher's totally broken up with Sherri by now. Still no mention of her and he's buying jewelry for another woman? Yeah, he's single.