Previously on Gilmore Girls: Luke's nephew Jess arrived in Stars Hollow and instantly pissed Lorelai off. He sure does like himself some Rory, who has a boyfriend -- one CuteDean. Lorelai told Luke that Jess has some problems, but Luke doesn't really need another parent in Jess's life. Rory didn't understand why Jess is only "nice" to her, and asked Lorelai to give Jess a chance. Luke tossed Jess into a pond. Jess is very skinny. He stole one of Rory's books and wrote in it. Luke was panicking about being a parent. Lorelai was sympathetic. Rory and Jess got closer, despite CuteDean being Rory's actual boyfriend. On her fake date with Jess, Rory lost the bracelet that CuteDean made for her a long time ago. Jess picked it up and keeps it.
Quirky teaser begin! Lorelai is upset that she hurt her hand trying to clean her rain gutter (since she never did get some nice young boy to buy her basket and clean her gutter). Rory thinks that Lorelai should go to the hospital or a doctor's office, but Lorelai says that once you go into a hospital, you don't get to come back out. Lorelai moans that she needs some pancakes. Rory reminds Lorelai that she hates ladders and heights and had no business being up on the roof. Lorelai says she was trying to be an independent woman. Lorelai says she's just being dramatic. "I think I have gangrene," she adds. She moans that she's not feeling well and that one of her legs suddenly feels shorter than the other. Rory's not too sympathetic to Lorelai's hypochondria. Lorelai pulls back the bandage on her hand and invites Rory to see that the skin is turning a "glowy purple." Lorelai ponders the possibility that their rain gutters are filled with a radioactive material or alien matter, and that now she'll have superpowers. She says that perhaps she'll wake up tomorrow and have the ability to shower really quickly. Rory pushes Lorelai into the diner for a quick breakfast as we fade to the opening credits.
Luke's. Lorelai moans into her chair and complains that she's starving due to the massive loss of blood. Rory puts on her best Tennessee Williams voice to sympathize with her. Luke's not working behind the counter, which causes Lorelai to freak out. It's Cesar, the guy who we hardly know that works at Luke's. Does that mean that Luke employs both Jess and Cesar? That diner must do really well. Lorelai complains because Cesar apparently isn't as good a cook as Luke is. They don't want just to order something other than pancakes, since pancakes are the whim of the morning. Lorelai sneaks out of the diner and up the stairs to Luke's apartment.