Gilmore Girls
Lost And Found

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Jess Is a Tool

Upstairs, Lorelai knocks on Luke's door. I covet Lorelai's pink hoodie. As she knocks, there's a commotion on the other side, followed by a pained noise from Luke. Lorelai asks if he's getting attacked by his belongings again. Luke answers the door with a sock draped over his right shoulder. He says he's looking for his supply ledger. Lorelai asks if it's going well. "It's going fine," he says, when clearly things aren't going too fine. Lorelai informs Luke that he's got a sock on his shoulder and asks if it's helping him look. Luke walks back into his trashed apartment and asks why she's upstairs. Lorelai says that she and Rory are starving and that they need him to come downstairs and cook them pancakes. Luke says that Cesar can make them pancakes. Lorelai asks what happened to his apartment. "Nothing," Luke says, surrounded by a clutter that has the trademark look of my grandmother's decorating style. It's called "Don't Touch My Shit." If it's all jumbled together, you can't figure out what it is, thereby lowering its chances of getting stolen. Lorelai says the room resembles what she's always pictured the inside of her head would look like. Hee. Luke asks her to help him look. She says it looks like a "White Trash Hearst Castle" in there. Luke rescinds his offer. Lorelai asks where all of these things came from. Luke tells her that Jess's mom finally sent over the last of Jess's things, and Jess unpacked. He just hasn't found a place to store his stuff. Clothes and boxes litter the entire tiny room. Luke says he just has to buy a few more storage items and furniture and it'll all be taken care of. Lorelai adds a can of gasoline and a box of matches to the list of items Luke's going to need to take care of the place. Luke reminds Lorelai that Cesar can make the pancakes. Lorelai moans that he doesn't make the "good, fluffy pancakes" like Luke does. Luke tells her to order eggs. "No!" Lorelai whispers in the best offended voice. She holds up her bandaged hand. "See?" she says. "I had a near-death experience today." She tells Luke she almost fell off the roof of her house, and now she needs pancakes. She says "please," and then offers to help him come shower once she becomes a superhero. Hubba hubba. Jess walks out of the bathroom in full Jess regalia (green camouflage t-shirt, black pants, hair atrocious), and Luke complains that Jess had been in there for two hours. Jess deadpans that his hair just isn't "balancing and behaving" today. Luke says he lives there, too. "Learn something new every day," Jess says as he walks out of the apartment. Lorelai comments that Jess's people skills are really improving. Luke tells Lorelai to go downstairs, and that he'll be there as soon as he can. Lorelai asks when that will be. Luke says he doesn't know. Lorelai keeps asking for an estimate as Luke pushes her towards the door. Lorelai looks down and finds Luke's brown ledger. She holds it hostage in exchange for the good, fluffy pancakes. He has no choice but to obey her. He asks if there was a chance she was actually pushed off the roof of her house today.

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Gilmore Girls

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