When they've decided on the salmon (what is with Emily's obsession with salmon?), Emily suggests that they move on to discussing the vows. Lorelai chokes: "Vows? What are you talking about?" Emily's talking about wedding vows, of course: "They can be traditional, or you can write your own." While Lorelai jokily nudges Chris's arm, Emily turns to Randall, who shares her distaste for personally written vows. "Cecily Pendalen's daughter actually promised to cook her husband lasagna once a month!" says Emily, as Randall nearly faints from the garishness. "Who wants to hear the word 'lasagna' at a wedding?" Lorelai says that she has a point there, but that this thing they're planning is not a wedding, it's a party. Emily argues that since they are celebrating a marriage, and since no one actually was privileged enough to see the couple exchange vows, they might want to consider doing that in front of guests. Christopher, who Lorelai obviously expects to back her up on the dissent, makes the unprecedented move of taking Emily's side: "I think it might be kind of nice." This prompts Lorelai to suspect an ambush: "The whole reason we eloped was to avoid the wedding thing!" Christopher, from out of nowhere, gets indignant, snarking, "Uh, no. That is not the reason we eloped. We eloped because we love each other and we wanted to get married." Lorelai is surprised at this reaction, but Christopher keeps pushing, asking what her problem is with the whole vows thing. Lorelai: "The big deal is I don't want to do it, and we're already married." Chris sighs, saying he's not sure why he's even shown up, since Lorelai's going to do what she wants to do, no matter what. ["Way to catch up, holmes." -- Wing Chun] "House, wedding, kids," he huffs. "It's all your call, right?" This rings the alarm bell for Emily, who nearly squeals with delight at the idea that Lorelai might be pregnant. "No," Lorelai says, sighing. Christopher keeps up his pouty shtick: "That's nice. You don't have to act like it's the most horrible thing in the world."
At this, Emily and Randall make a discreet exit, and Chris and Lorelai get into it. When he goes on again about the vows, she insists, "We're already married." "What's the big deal?" he asks, all pissy. "I mean, you planned a whole, huge wedding with that diner guy!" Lorelai takes offense: "'That diner guy'?" He gets even more childish: "Oh, I'm sorry. Am I supposed to show more respect to the guy who punched me in the face?" Lorelai tries to calm him down, but eventually Chris sulks out, saying that this wedding party isn't about them, it's just about Lorelai. ["It's actually about Emily, so whatever." -- Wing Chun] She tries to get him to stay, but he won't, and over her shoulder, Emily worriedly watches him go. Okay, well...that was interesting. But, y'all help me out here: what the frick is going on in this show? What are they trying to tell me? Does Lorelai want to be married to Christopher or not? Because when I think she's showing us that she doesn't, she then sincerely insists that she does. What GIVES? Please HELP me.