Gilmore Girls
Merry Fisticuffs

Episode Report Card
Al Lowe: C+ | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Punch it Out

Lorelai is at the Inn doing inventory when Rory calls her late that night. "I thought it was an all-Logan weekend," says Lorelai. Rory says that it was, but that "boys suck." Agreed! She asks her mom to tell her that it gets better when men get older. "Well," says Lorelai, "it gets more confusing and more complex. Does any of that sound better?" Rory says no, and gives Lorelai the lowdown on what happened at dinner. "Yikes!" says Lorelai. Rory can't figure out Logan's motivation for the whole debacle, and says that Logan has no reason to be jealous, because he knows Rory loves him. "Of course he does," says Lorelai. Rory wonders again why Logan would do what he did. "Mars and Venus, you know?" Lorelai suggests, but Rory says that she doesn't think that's it: "Because Mars and Venus? Are both planets, so they have something in common. I think it's more like Mars and a bowl of soup." Rory says that Lucy won't answer her phone, so Rory's going to go over and try to talk to her. "Sorry boys suck," says Lorelai, and they hang up.

At an empty bar (Casey's?), Christopher drinks alone. Slowly, he gets up and sullenly pulls on his coat. Outside, he's about to get in his car when he looks across the empty street to see Luke messing around in the back of his truck. The two men lock eyes, and IT! IS! ON! Listen, I'm not sure what they're fighting about other than that, at some point, they were or are or are still or once were in love with the same woman, but it doesn't even matter, because in what I found to be a very confusing episode where no one's actions made any sense whatsoever, I was just happy to see some punches get thrown. I mean, I have wanted to hit somebody since Lucy showed up with the Apple Jacks, so this was great. Luke and Chris charge at each other, removing scarves and jackets and getting right to punchin'. Luke gets in the first left cross, and they go even-steven, punch for punch. Neither of them is a very impressive fighter, frankly, but it's beautiful when they end up entangled in the Stars Hollow Christmas display. Wordlessly, the fight ends just as it started, and both men return to their corners.

Rory arrives at Lucy's room to find a pissy Olivia at the door. "She doesn't want to see you right now," Olivia tells Rory, sucking her teeth, "and to be honest with you, neither do I." Rory: "Olivia, just let me explain. Please." Olivia: "No." She slams the door in Rory's face, and Rory walks away crying, breaking my heart.

Lorelai arrives home late to be ambushed yet again by Emily, who is waiting on her porch in the dark: "I want to talk to you, Lorelai." Lorelai says that if it's about the party, she's had a really long day and doesn't want to talk about it. "It's not about the party," says Emily. "I've come to talk to you about your marriage." Lorelai is surprised, but Emily says that she's come to offer some friendly advice. "Mom," says Lorelai, "I really don't want your advice." Emily: "Well, then consider it unfriendly advice." With no further ado, she launches into it: Christopher is immature and often foolish. He doesn't always make the best choices. Lorelai assumes she's saying that Chris chose wrongly in marrying her. "I'm saying he's your husband, Lorelai," Emily corrects her, "for better or for worse." She says that she likes Christopher, and that she thinks he's good for Lorelai: "But it's not going to be perfect. He's not perfect, and God knows you're not perfect." She says that marriage is not about always being happy, and that often it's not about being happy at all. Nice. She says that it's about compromise, which is not Lorelai's strong suit: "Marriage is about swallowing your pride sometimes -- about doing what he wants." She says that marriage is not about winning an argument, which may make Lorelai sad, since that's what she loves to do: "I don't want to see you ruin this. Marriage is serious business, Lorelai, and if you don't take this very seriously, then this whole thing could fall apart faster than you could possibly imagine. And he'll be gone, and you'll be alone again. A ring is no guarantee." With that, she apologizes for scaring her in the dark, and marches off the porch to leave Lorelai to ponder her future.

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Gilmore Girls

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