Enter Jess. Poor Luke, having to see all of his family in one day. Jess is there to pick up "something" he forgot, and Liz freaks out about how this is fate and meant to be and she draws her men to her and some Ren Faire bullshit. She introduces Jess to T.J., who asks Jess to guess what the initials stand for. "No," Jess says. Liz and T.J. invite Jess to dinner. "There's beer," T.J. says. "My beer," Luke corrects. Jess isn't hungry. Luke really wants Jess to stay and share his discomfort, though. Jess sits. T.J. says that Stars Hollow is great, and that it reminds him of New York. "How?" Jess challenges. "Neither one is in space," Luke answers for him. T.J. says that there's a similar energy. Liz agrees. T.J. tells Luke he saw their old house, which is confusing because last episode Liz found the pot supposedly where she'd always hidden it and I did think this was supposed to be the old hardware store and they lived somewhere else but I've stopped trying to figure out all of the backstory. ["You're right: what is now Luke's apartment used to be their dad's old office over the store." -- Wing Chun] Liz says that Luke was big into athletics into his day, and that the ladies were big into him. She tells him that Luke used to date Carrie, which Luke argues is untrue. Jess says he's got to go. Liz runs to him and asks him to come back after he checks his car, and promises they'll save him some food. She tells him he looks good. T.J. says that if he were a girl, he wouldn't kick Jess out of bed. T.J. then tells Jess that he'll draw a portrait of him in his Etch-A-Sketch if Jess comes back. Luke follows Jess out of the apartment.
Out in the hall, Luke can't believe what a tool T.J. is. I really don't see what his problem is, but Luke thinks that T.J. is a complete idiot and a weirdo for owning an Etch-A-Sketch. Shocker: Jess doesn't care. Luke can't believe Jess doesn't want to do anything to fix this. Jess's solution: "Shake him real hard. Maybe he'll disappear." Boo. Luke doesn't accept that his sister's life is her own and that she makes her own choices. He thinks that he and Jess should to and tell her together that her new guy sucks. Jess says that Liz really doesn't care what he thinks, and that he's got nineteen years of proof to back that up. Luke says that they have to fix this (today's secret word), and that he can't let Liz screw her life up with another idiot again. Jess says that this is Luke's problem: "You have to fix everything. You have to fix everyone." He tells Luke that this doesn't make him a good guy, it makes him a pain in the ass: "You make it so that when people fail you, you get to feel like the martyr, and they get to feel like not only did they screw up but they also disappointed you. You interfere and you make everything worse. No one is asking for your help. No one wants your help. Focus on your own life, and leave everyone else alone." Well, it's the most they've ever had Jess say, and it's the most passionate he's ever been about a string of words, but I'm not so sure that this is true at all. I mean, it's true for this episode, I guess, and Luke certainly does help people, but he surrounds himself with people who flail around helplessly, asking for things like fixed windows, extra room in the apartment, Chupahs for fake weddings, and refills on coffee.