Gilmore Girls
Nag Hammadi Is Where They Found The Gnostic Gospels

Episode Report Card
Pamie: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Luke Gets Drunk

Jess hands Gypsy a wad of cash. She thanks him, adding, "Do not come again." Jess gets in his car and pulls down the visor. Out falls an envelope filled with cash. He sighs and gets out of his car, presumably to return the cash to its owner. But instead he bumps into Rory, who stares only momentarily before shouting, "I get to leave first!" She then runs, and Jess follows her, calling her name. Rory does a very silly, all crazy-legged run in a serpentine worthy of The In-Laws (the original), telling Jess that this is her town and therefore she gets to be the one to walk away and be mad. She even ducks at one point, from nothing. Jess says they look like idiots. Rory doesn't care. She tells him to go away and leave her alone. He asks her to stop so that he can talk to her. When she finally stops running, he asks her where she learned to run like that. Rory says she thought of this moment a lot. What would Jess say to her if he ever turned up? He never called or left a note or anything: "How could he explain that and then a year goes by, no word, nothing, so he couldn't possibly have a good excuse for that, right?" She says she's imagined a hundred different scenarios with a hundred different lines, so now she's a little curious as to how this is going to go down. Jess asks if they could sit down. Rory says, "No. You wanted to talk. So talk. What do you have to say to me?" And so then he just says it: "I love you." And Rory is speechless. So the strummy-strummy-la-la girl sing to drown out our screams of, "NOOOOOO! NOOOOO! WHYYYYY? NOOOOOO! DAAAAAMMMIIT!" And Jess, true to form, gets in his car and drives away. That boy really knows how to treat a lady. Rory stands, alone again, at the Firelight Festival, having learned something she can do absolutely nothing about.

I'm going back to finish the scarf count. Where were we? Twelve. Okay. First scene at Firelight Festival: Twenty-three. Scene with Liz: T.J. actually puts a scarf around Liz's neck. By the end of the scene: thirty-seven. Lorelai and Rory are hungry: thirty-nine. Luke and Lorelai.: one set of earmuffs. It's easier to watch the Jess scenes when you're counting scarves. Final total: Forty-three.

Next week: an episode they should have titled "We Love You, Pamie."

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Gilmore Girls

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