Gilmore Girls
Nag Hammadi Is Where They Found The Gnostic Gospels

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Luke Gets Drunk

Lorelai and Lane are fastening Saran Wrap to the broken window, using Barbie Band-Aids as an adhesive. Lorelai asks how it looks. "Festive and femme!" says Lane. "Maybe it needs another layer," she suggests. Lorelai: "Yes. Of glass." Lane kicks off our scarf count: one. Also: that scarf is probably hand-made, because I just made exactly the same scarf for my sister in blues instead of oranges. It's a pattern you can buy at Michael's. The scarf slips into itself. I skipped that part for my sister, because I was pretty sure she'd hate the "insert scarf in hole" thing, and just made it into your normal scarf, but I recognize that weird, difficult-to-work-with yarn anywhere. I don't recommend making or wearing Scarf #1. I just now noticed that Lorelai and Lane are also each wearing scarves: Three. (I just backed up and checked from the beginning. Luke and Kirk wore scarves: Five.) I like Lorelai's stripey scarf. Rory tells Lorelai that she's circled some window repairmen's numbers in the phone book. Stars Hollow has a Yellow Pages? Isn't it Kirk's name seventeen times on every page? Lorelai says she doesn't want to hurt Luke's feelings by having someone else fix the window. She where Rory is off to. Rory is going to take a walk, get a danish, hit the bookstore, and be home for lunch. Catch ya later, Lane. Rory leaves. Lorelai -- who has somehow become the better friend -- asks Lane if she needs anything while Lorelai's out running errands today. Lorelai says she'll be walking past Elm Street. Lane says that's a good street. She asks Lorelai if her mother has said anything to her. Lorelai says MamaLane hasn't, but that she wants to. Lorelai can tell. Lorelai hopes that maybe tomorrow Lane will be ready.

Lorelai goes to answer her phone. "It's a complete disaster!" Emily shouts. "My existence?" Lorelai asks. Emily cribs a t-shirt for us: "Not everything is about you, Lorelai." Emily is freaking out, because she's four people short for the rare manuscript acquisition dinner, and buying a table without filling it is second only to...apparently nothing, in terms of humiliating disasters. Emily tells Lorelai that she has to bring somebody with her tonight, even on this short notice, so that Emily's reputation isn't ruined forever. Emily says she'll see Lorelai at 6 sharp: "And don't wear those pantyhose with the seams up the back. You look like ten cents a dance." She hangs up and calls for Richard to bring her a gimlet.

Luke's. Liz has brought an earring tree to the diner, and has her jewelry on display at the counter. Kirk and Miss Patty enter the diner. Kirk's planning the festival; Patty is ignoring Kirk. When he calls her on it, she confesses that she's been ignoring him since he was old enough to walk. Liz puts earrings on some floozy and asks if there's too much turquoise. The floozy announces that turquoise is timeless. Take that, diamonds. Liz introduces the floozy to Luke as her friend Carrie, the crazy one who made out with Luke at homecoming. Luke says hello. Carrie calls him Butch, and says it's nice to see him. She then asks, awkwardly, if he's been under any bleachers lately. You know who I don't understand? People who think that high school was the best time in their lives -- the ones who bring up, like, three events that happened when they were seventeen and go on and on about how it was the best time ever. I guess it's not that I don't understand them; they just make me sad. Luke asks about the earring tree. Liz explains that these are the earrings she's made, and she figured she could just sell them at the diner. There is an argument about whether people who are eating would also like to browse for earrings. It goes on until they're interrupted by Miss Patty and Kirk, who love, love, love the earrings and begin arguing over who gets which pair. Kirk walkie-talkies a friend to find out if Kirk's girlfriend has pierced ears, asking him if he's ever noticed Lulu's lobes. You know what's weird? Behind them is the window for Taylor's soda shoppe, which we can see into, but then right next to it is a door that leads to either the bathroom or the supply closet or both. Taylor's shop must be really small. (And hey, all those of you who were complaining about too much Taylor at the beginning of the season, I guess you got your wish, huh? I can't even remember the last time we saw him grumping around.) Luke tells Miss Patty she doesn't have to be nice just because Liz made them (Kirk calls them "phat," -- the closed-captioning spells the word correctly) and then accuses Liz of making shoddy stuff that's just going to fall apart or infect people's ears. Unflappable, Liz smiles and says she can make the earrings to order, and begins taking requests. There is an off-camera shouting of badly improvised lines, like, "I want these in fuchsia pink; I want these in purple!" Scarves: Seven.

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Gilmore Girls

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