Rory and Lorelai decided to warm themselves by Babette's fire. Babette warbles on about how it's a real treat to see the girls again. The cat on Lorelai's lap is dying to run away, and you can see Lauren Graham gripping that stiff-legged cat to her thigh. I wonder if she's allergic. Babette asks the girls if they're going to the Firelight Festival tonight. Lorelai says they'll be a little late, because they've got to go to Emily's charity event first. Babette tells us that Kirk got caught up in some lights and accidentally treed himself. It took a fire department and two cans of tuna to get him down. Babette says that the entire town is buzzing about Jess's return: "Stupid little pisher." Babette is amazed that he thought he could sneak out of town without anybody's finding out. She then apologizes to Rory for going on about him. Rory says she's fine. Lorelai insists that Rory is fine. Rory tells the ladies that she ran into Jess today at Weston's. "That little bastard," Babette says. Rory recounts the story of him saying he was leaving, and then leaving. Rory says it's weird, because he's the one who left town and didn't call and now he's getting up and leaving, acting like he's mad. She says that she's the one who should be angry -- that this is her town and not his, and she's the one who's supposed to storm off in a huff. Babette asks Rory if she's still stuck on Jess. Rory says she's not, but that she wasn't expecting him to come back. "He'll be gone soon," Lorelai says. Rory agrees. Babette screams that she forgot the marshmallows as if there's now a room on fire because of it, and runs off.
More screaming. Kirk is chasing two kids through town, screaming into his walkie-talkie that the Morrissey kids have stolen the bonfire again. Luke walks into his diner and ask Cesar what he burned. Instead, he finds Liz, who's helping herself to the fridge in back. She's making a dinner for her, Luke, and T.J., her "guy," who is currently upstairs alone in Luke's apartment.
T.J. is cooking some chili. He's played by Michael DeLuise, who was somehow supposed to replace Johnny Depp on 21 Jump Street post-Richard Grieco, but wasn't even memorable enough to replace Peter DeLuise...who was still on the show at the time. Consequently, most of the time T.J. is on the screen, I'm distracted with thoughts like, "No. He can't look that old and have been on Jump Street. How old is everybody from Jump Street? Oh, shit. That's right. Johnny Depp is forty. That means he's probably like, forty-three or forty-five or...oh, man. He might be almost fifty. Then how old does that make Peter DeLuise? How old does that make me? I wonder when Stee will stop teasing me for once writing fan mail to Peter DeLuise. I can't believe I said that on Beat the Geeks. I can't believe I went on Beat the Geeks. I can't believe I lost. I was so robbed. Wow, Michael DeLuise looks old." Luke is openly rude to T.J., and -- as my mother likes to say -- has a comment for everything. Liz is so happy to have both of her guys in a room together. Are they having steaks and chili for dinner/lunch? That's weird/intestinally challenged. Liz introduces T.J. to Luke. T.J. wants Luke to guess what the initials stand for. Luke doesn't want to guess, but T.J. makes him, so Luke correctly guesses it stands for "Thomas Jefferson." Liz makes Luke sit for a little while. T.J. asks Luke if he'd like a beer. Luke: "You mean one of my beers from my fridge? Sure, why not?" T.J. brings Luke a beer. Liz gets excited easily, and is already making this situation more meaningful than it is by pointing out that her two favorite guys are talking, sharing a beer, bonding.