And then there's this moment where in any other show the drunk guy who loves the girl would pull her down to him and give her a big, inappropriate kiss that will be discussed for a full season. But here, because this show is so much better than that and we don't need it handed to us, there's just this quick thing Luke does. He grunts a little, and moves his hand near Lorelai's hip, as if it feels natural to pull her down and kiss her, but he remembers just before that they don't do that. It would be even better if there wasn't this bizarre Luke-kinda-has-a-wife thing going on this season, but I'm able to forget about Nicole as easily as the rest of the people involved with this show, so why don't you, too? Lorelai walks off, and Luke's still looking at his hand that's where Lorelai used to be standing, and the plinky-plinky guitar reminds us why we like this show, with its scenes that end like this.
Jess offers to help Gypsy to speed up the process. She thinks it would help if he wasn't there. Lorelai walks over. "Jess!" she shouts. Gypsy notes that Lorelai sounds mad. Lorelai tells Jess that he's been in town less than twenty-four hours, and she already wants to kill him. She calls him out for talking to Luke the way he did, for having no respect for Luke's feelings, and for being such a little jerk. Scarf count: Twelve. Jess says that this isn't about Luke, it's about Rory. Lorelai comments that Jess is the one who keeps saying Rory's name, so maybe for him this is all about Rory. She asks if he came back because he's hung up on her. Jess says he's not. Lorelai gloats that Rory has moved on, and that she's happy now. Jess asks Gypsy to hurry up so that he can get out of there. "I second that," Lorelai says, and then walks off. The closed captioning tells me that Jess "[sighs]" here, but I sure don't hear it.
Fanciness. Lorelai wonders where Demi and Ashton are sitting at the charity event. Rory thinks they might be late. Since Emily told her to arrive at 6 sharp and it's 7, and Emily is glaring at them, yeah, I'd say that's a pretty safe assumption. Emily asks what Rory's doing there. She can't believe Lorelai doesn't know a single man she could bring to this thing. "I thought you liked Rory," Lorelai says. "We do like Rory, but we're short of men," Emily says. Lorelai: "Well, so am I." Emily tells Lorelai that it's not her looks that keep men away. Heh. Lorelai pouts. Hee. Rory asks if she should leave. Emily says there's nothing she can do about it now, so they might as well all join the table. As they walk to the table, Lorelai and Rory decide that on a "wigged-out scale" from 1 to 10, Emily is Frances Farmer. Richard asks Rory what she's doing there. "Lorelai couldn't find a man," Emily drones. Emily introduces Lorelai and Rory to Marjorie and Shawna, the personal assistants to Richard and Digger. Emily calls them so dull they're two rolling pins. Digger arrives, late because he was talking in the lobby to some guy named Feriman who drinks a lot. Emily makes Rory move over so Digger and Lorelai can sit together. She tells them to act like they're dating. Emily barks at Shawna and Marjorie to look like they belong there. One of them smiles more brightly. "Oh, yes, that's much better," Emily deadpans. Rory asks who is sitting in the remaining empty chair. Emily says that nobody's there, so they brought one of Richard's coats to put over the seat. They're saying it belongs to Marjorie's husband: he's making the rounds, and then around 8 they'll say he went home feeling ill. Richard asks if everybody understands the story. Lorelai offers to stuff the coat under her dress so that they can say she's pregnant and Digger can pretend to be the doctor. Emily says she might have known Lorelai would turn this into something ridiculous. Rory says she wants to be the doctor. Emily tells Digger and Lorelai to act like they like each other. They hold hands. "Hey, your mom said," Digger says.