Over at the diner, Luke is fighting with his cash register. Apparently, having something you can't use to hold money is what adds character to a diner. Kirk comes in carrying a metal case, saying he's heard that Luke might be in the market for an engagement ring. "Since you are a friend," Kirk says, "I'm prepared to make you a great deal. Or, will Lorelai be the one paying for it?" Luke harrumphs, saying no, she won't be the one paying, and Kirk is surprised: "Ah, Eastside Tillie called it wrong this time." Walking around the counter to throw him out, Luke is brought up short: the rings are actually really nice, and he immediately sees one that would be perfect for Lorelai. "And, these are real?" Luke asks Kirk, who confirms that they are. "I mean," Luke says, "real diamonds, not 'they exist' real?" Ha! Well, with Kirk, it's best to be sure. Luke asks him where he got all the rings. "I befriend really old women," Kirk says. Luke: "Excuse me?" Kirk: "Really old women need companionship, Luke. They are really old. Most people they know are dead. So, when someone comes along and they are not dead, and they'll listen to their stories and care about their dosage, they are grateful." Nice. Luke asks if Kirk is serious. "Serious as a heart attack," Kirk says. "Which is how I got that ring you're holding right now." Kirk says that, actually, he has a lot of sympathy for what Luke is going through -- Lorelai stole his moment, and everything, and he understands that Luke must be embarrassed, not being able to sweep her off her feet. Luke says he's fine, but Kirk goes on. "If Lorelai can just spring it on you like that," he wonders nervously, "what's to stop Lulu from springing it on me?" Luke: "Your creepy friendships with really old women might do the trick." Kirk says that he's been avoiding Lulu for two days, hanging up really quickly when she calls: "She may be mad, but there's no way she's going to rob me of my moment." Luke says he'll have his own moment, for sure, and decides to buy the ring. "Ah, old widow Mason," Kirk reminisces. "Thought she was Frida Kahlo toward the end."
In town, Rory and Logan are allegedly headed out for a drink and a movie. Rory's suspicious, but Logan insists he just wants to be low-key for the evening. "Last time you were mellow," she tells him, "you had a 104 fever, and even then we went bar-hopping for an hour before you fainted." Logan: "I didn't faint, I passed out. Drink, dinner, movie, that's it." Of course, that's not it, and as they round the corner, they find all of Logan's friends in the corner bar, dressed in prison stripes, singing "For She's A Jolly-Good Felon." Might be cute, if it wasn't also true.