Gilmore Girls
New And Improved Lorelai

Episode Report Card
Al Lowe: B- | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Not So New, Not Especially Improved

With no transition, again, we are now at the courthouse. Richard and Charlie backslap about how quaint the courtroom is, har har, while Emily fusses over Rory's outfit. "It's coming off a little more Mennonite than I'd hoped," she says, in the best line of the night.

The bailiff comes in to call The State vs. Lorelai Gilmore. Oooh, symbolism. Charlie asks who Lorelai Gilmore is. Rory says that's her real name, and sits down to face the judge. Y'all, the judge? Ain't goin' out like that. She asks Rory to stand, and explains the charge and the plea. Rory looks around while she's talking, and her eyes fall on two totally random people in the courtroom who are never explained, so we'll just pretend they aren't there. I can't tell if they're supposed to be the owners of the boat, faced with which Rory should feel guilty, or if they're other criminals, at which point we're supposed to think she's comparing herself to them, wondering if she's like "those people." Don't know. Don't have time to think about it, because the judge is throwing down. ["I thought they were reporters, to remind Rory of what she isn't and will never be." -- Wing Chun] The judge doesn't seem satisfied with the plea of twenty hours of community service, despite Charlie Davenport's cajoling that Rory's offense was a one-time youthful indiscretion. The judge sets aside the plea, saying that she won't tolerate rich, privileged children viewing the world as their private playground. "I don't care who you are," she says. "I don't care who your family is. When you commit a crime, Miss Gilmore, there must be consequences, period." Snap. Nobody in the courtroom was expecting this, obviously. Nor were they expecting that Rory would be given three hundred hours of community service to be completed in six months, plus a year's probation. "I can't do three hundred hours," Rory says. "I have to get a job." ["Bitch, please. You have six months to do it in -- that's only twelve hours a week. Suck it up and work out your schedule, or just do it all at once and get a job afterward. I HATE RORY." -- Wing Chun] The judge is not sympathetic and suggests that Rory add that to the list of things she should have thought about before she decided to joyride on someone else's boat. Oh, and P.S., Rory will now have a criminal record. Have a nice day.

Grandpa goes ballistic, threatening to sue everybody. The judge says, though she is not duty-bound to do so, she'll allow Rory to withdraw the plea and go to trial, after all, at which time she will face additional felony charges. Richard is still blustering and says he thinks she should withdraw her plea. Rory speaks up and takes charge, saying that she does not want to go to trial, and that she will not withdraw the plea agreement. The judge bangs the gavel, and while Richard continues to foam at the mouth, Charlie tells Rory that this is not that big a deal. Except, hello, it certainly is. If she does want to go back to Yale, can she even do it with a criminal record? Rory's most concerned that her mother has not shown up, and asks Richard if he is sure he told Lorelai the right place. "She knew all about it, Rory," he says. "She simply showed no interest in the matter." Rory looks sad, but all Richard can do is think of other lawyers he can get to sue the one he already has. He charges out after Charlie, and Emily implores Richard not to kill him in the courthouse.

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Gilmore Girls

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