The phone starts ringing and everyone moans as Luke goes to answer it. Luke has a conversation that sounds like there's nobody on the other end of the phone as Lorelai walks around the counter and starts serving herself some donuts. One of the kids tugs on Taylor's shirt and points at Lorelai, saying, "She's not supposed to do that." Taylor says that the kid is right and that Lorelai is "breaking the rules." "And people who break the rules end up very lonely with no friends" -- and no husband (wha? who said that?) -- "because they have become society's outcasts." Lorelai asks Taylor whether he plans on burning some Huck Finn after lunch. Luke starts screaming at the person on the other end of the phone: "You won't ever change, will you?" He hangs up and asks whether Lorelai has a sister. Lorelai says she doesn't. "I do!" says the Line Leader. "You have my sympathies," Luke says. "Thanks, I appreciate that," says the kid. Hee. Opening credits. See? It's all good and back and happy. Look how much I wrote already.
Lorelai finds Luke outside of Luke's, carrying several bags. He keeps dropping things and she keeps offering to help and he keeps turning her down. Y'all. I've officially been recapping too much. My cat just tried to jump up on the nightstand and drink from my coffee (because Cal loves coffee so much but it makes him have the stinky poo) and I sounded just like my mother as I shouted, "Lorel -- uh, Ror -- uh, CAL!" He's still up there trying to drink the coffee, too. I just don't want to stop him because I get terribly depressed when I sound like my mother. I'm really surprised they didn't do a Halloween episode, since Stars Hollow loves to decorate the town. This year to celebrate Halloween my uterus has decided to cover itself in blood and rain evil from my vagina. Just so you know. I didn't recap all day long and was supposed to do laundry, but they are having a parade in front of my laundromat and the street was closed to prepare and it was all so stressful that I just went and got a Quarter Pounder with cheese, ate it, and then slept for three hours. Don't judge me.
Luke's apartment. As he fumbles with the keys, Lorelai snoops through the groceries he just bought and asks when he started buying Frosted Flakes. Luke's bag breaks and groceries tumble all over the ground at the same time Scott Cohen's name appears on the screen in the credits. Coincidence? I think not. Lorelai asks what's going on, and Luke says it's nothing. Lorelai asks why Luke woke up this morning and decided to buy every single food item he never eats. Luke says they aren't for him, but for someone who is not him. "Like who?" Lorelai asks as they enter Luke's apartment. "Like my nephew," Luke answers. Lorelai concludes that Luke's nephew is coming to visit. Luke says he's coming to stay. Lorelai asks whether Luke's sister is moving to Stars Hollow. She's not. Lorelai is confused. Luke explains that his sister is busy and can't handle his nephew, so she's sending him to live with Luke. Lorelai asks where the father is. "Whereabouts unknown," Luke replies, adding that his sister probably put about five minutes of thought into all of this. The kid's been getting into trouble lately, and instead of spending time with her kid, she's giving up and sending him for Luke to straighten out. Lorelai smiles and asks how exactly Luke is capable of straightening any kid out: "You? Luke Danes, the great communicator? You're going to straighten the kid out?" Did we know Luke's last name before? ["Lorelai used it when she introduced Luke to Max last season." -- Wing Chun] Luke says that the kid just needs to get out of his environment and away from his crappy mother. Lorelai asks how long the kid is staying. Indefinitely. He's seventeen. Lorelai says that this is very generous of Luke. Luke says, "Well, it's family. What else can you do?" Lorelai asks what kind of trouble the kid has gotten into. Luke says it's mostly "kid stuff," like staying out late, getting rowdy. What else, Luke? Causing a ruckus? Being a hooligan? Gallivanting? Lorelai asks whether Luke's asked the kid some key questions like, has he seen The Shawshank Redemption and did the setting seem homey to him? Luke says he could never count on his sister Liz before, anyway. His mom died when they were kids, and he had to stay and help run the store with his dad while Liz would run around town. Then when she was old enough, she moved out of Stars Hollow, even though their dad was sick. Luke stayed and took care of things and she left. Huh. Wonder whether Luke's attracted to women like his sister, seeing as how he was in love with a woman who left whenever things got tough and took off all the damn time when he needed her.