Gilmore Girls
Norman Mailer, I'm Pregnant!

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: C | Grade It Now!
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Mailer than Thou

Yale Daily Strummy-Strummy-La-La. Paris, looking nauseated, tells Rory that she thinks she had some bad host. So much setup, so little payoff. Rory gets an Instant Message on her screen: "Hey, Ace, I've got a proposition for you." She looks around and sees Logan smirking at her from behind his computer. "Shoot," she types. Logan responds, "I'll help you with your article. Get you the inside scoop. You just have to agree to a few conditions." There is absolutely no reason he would do this, since she has no advantage over him whatsoever and wouldn't know how to press it if she did. But she asks, "What conditions?" "The first condition is you have to agree before you know the conditions. What do you say, Ace? You in or out?" Rory gives it a moment's thought, weighing the possibility of getting a boring story against waking up in a hospital room packed to the gills with roofies and man-glue, and types, "I'm in." I must say, the proper spelling, punctuation and capitalization in these IMs isn't going far enough toward assuaging my rage toward this scene. Rory looks up from her computer to see that Logan has disappeared from behind his. Mr. Roarke?

Luke's. Lorelai sits at the counter as Luke assures her he's not mad at her, just bugged. But not about Kirk. It's about the two "bozos" sitting a table ordering nothing but iced tea. Do I have to tell you it's Mailer and his suck-up? Dear God, I hope this doesn't mean Luke is pregnant.

At his apartment, Christopher answers the door to a rather chilly Rory. Chilly toward him, I mean. She barely returns his hug. She gets right down to business: "I don't want you calling Mom any more." Chris is surprised to hear it, and starts to explain, but Rory's got her little speech to get through. "Mom's in a relationship now and she's doing really great. He's kind and, well, he's there and she's really happy. You'll mess it up. You'll mess everything up. Because evey time you come back it always ends up the same way. Mom's crying and you're not being there and I know it's not your fault, I know you don't mean to to be that way but that's how it is." Chris protests that he just needed some help. "Next time you need help call a nanny or a babysitter, just leave Mom alone. I'm sorry, I have to go." And she does. Christopher: [facepalm].

Next week, it looks like Rory jumps off a high tower. Now that I can get behind. But, U.S. citizens, never mind the show; just vote, motherfuckers!

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Gilmore Girls

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