Lane's got a blonde wig on now, and it's just a really, really bad wig. She says her hair is really weird. "Like straw," Rory notes. Well, soon it'll be like purple straw. Lane is happy that the burning is completely gone, and now it's time to turn her head purple. Lane's actually drinking the salad water. Rory starts asking about Dave until finally Lane admits that she's in love with him. Lane gushes about how cute and wonderful Dave is. Rory agrees. She says she's never felt this way about a boy before. "It's not just puppy love," she says. She gets nervous thinking about him, and calling him and hearing the ring makes her excited. Rory says it sounds like love to her. "It does, doesn't it?" Lane asks. "My first love. Wow." She's so happy to have something like what Rory and Dean have. The record screeches as Rory stops painting Lane's hair purple and she makes a caught face like, "I don't love Dean. Haven't in a long time." As Lane goes on about how lucky Rory is to have a guy like Dean who loves her like he does and loves her as much as she loves him, Rory tries to change the subject with as much subtlety as a cat in a Barbie Dream House. These best friends act like they've never talked to each other before. Rory says that Lane will have plenty of loves in her life because she's great and "purple heads will not be denied." Lane says that should have been printed on the box. Rory pants as she asks Lane to lower her head.
It's like, a million o' clock now when they call Lorelai and Luke in to talk to the class. Bad Wig tells Luke to sit at a desk in the back of the class. Lorelai asks if she sees "Luke + Sissy" carved into one of the desks. Bad Wig announces Lorelai and Luke, basically saying that Luke's the guy with the burgers, but Lorelai's the real star of the show, with a real job that's important and doesn't involve grease. Lorelai reads from her cards and makes small talk with the ten kids who are in the classroom. Blah blah blah, one of them asks if she's Rory's mother. I'm cutting to the chase here, but every person asks Lorelai personal questions about getting pregnant at sixteen instead of questions about the Inn, and ask Lorelai whether she regrets getting pregnant at their age. Now, this makes no sense, but Bad Wig doesn't stop the kids from asking these questions. She just sort of freaks out in the back while Lorelai tells everyone that Rory's great and she's so happy to have gotten pregnant because it made Rory and she wouldn't have it any other way. The "Kid" sitting behind the blonde with the first question is easily forty-three years old. The class erupts in questions about getting pregnant at sixteen as Luke enjoys the show. We fade to commercial as I wonder if I'm ever going to stop recapping this show this week.