Dear Herbal Essences: We are very much done with your "Urge to Herbal" campaign. Please stop before we all rip our eyes out of their sockets. Thanks. Love, everyone that has ever breathed.
Smells like Friday night. Outside the Gilmore mansion, Lorelai asks that they not fight in front of Emily. Rory says that's fine. Lorelai rings the doorbell, but Emily has the door swung open before the chimes are even done. She is not happy. Lorelai starts to make small talk, but Emily asks Rory to go upstairs. Rory tries to stall, but Emily sends her away immediately. Emily begins fixing herself a drink. She tells Lorelai that she tries to understand her, but sometimes her behavior baffles her. Emily asks Lorelai whether she has any shame at all. She explains Rory's reputation at Chilton. Lorelai makes a joke about getting more involved at the school. "Are you insane?" Emily shouts. Lorelai says she can't believe she's discussing this with Emily. I can. Lorelai should have to discuss this with lots of people. It's not even like she's really apologized for this yet. Emily says that the entire school is talking about this and she doesn't know what to say to defend it. Lorelai says that it was a mistake. Emily says that a mistake is when you accidentally throw out your credit card bill or forget to RSVP. "This, my girl, was not a mistake." There was some massive finger-pointing on that last sentence, there. Emily asks if Lorelai knows this man. Lorelai begins joking about how much fun it is to mack down with strangers. Emily says it's not the time. Lorelai says she's been dating him. Emily asks how Lorelai could date Rory's teacher. Lorelai says it's none of Emily's business. Emily says that things that affect Rory are her business. Lorelai says she doesn't want to talk about it. Emily says she just wants to understand how Lorelai justifies this to herself. "Max is a great guy," Lorelai smiles. "An amazing guy. He's smart. He's sweet." She starts to cry. "He cooks." Emily takes a sip of her drink and says, "So you decide to kiss him in your daughter's school." Lorelai says that she was trying to break up with him and the kissing just happened. Emily says that Lorelai always lets her emotions get in the way. "That's the problem with you, Lorelai. You don't think." Through her tears, Lorelai asks her to stop. "He's just a man, Lorelai." "No, he's not," Lorelai drones. Emily asks if Lorelai is saying that all of this was worth it because this is the man for her for the rest of her life. "I don't know," Lorelai says. She says he might be. She stands and excuses herself.